Spy School Christmas Cheer

Sadness

DECEMBER 21

I spent the whole night lying awake, eyes fixed on Erica softly sleeping across the room. I couldn't get her words out of my head.

"It might be my last Christmas."

The next morning Erica was putting on a show of being chipper, but everyone else could see that my mood was not the best. 

"What's wrong Ben?" Erica asked pointedly at breakfast, swallowing a mouthful of pancakes. What I wanted to ask was:

"Are you sure eating pancakes is a good idea for your sugar levels?" but instead I said- "yeah. Just tired." Erica put her hand on my shoulder, a move that resulted in pointed looks and muffled laughter around the table, but I got the meaning. Erica didn't want me to be worried. 

"Um- Trixie!" I turned to Erica's sister, putting on my best happy face. "what's scheduled for today?"

"Well..." Trixie grinned around the table. "we have the tree and house decorated, so I was thinking some holiday shopping would be in order. We could go into town and split up to get gifts! It's only a short walk." everyone nodded in agreement. We finished breakfast and got dressed, then slipped into our coats and began the walk downtown. I hung back a little and Erica joined me.

"Are you going to be okay walking in the cold?" I asked. Erica rolled her eyes.

"Ben. I may be sick but I'm a fighter. I'm feeling much better! Trust me, this is hard for me too." she slipped her hand into mine. "I just have to accept the fact that I don't have much longer and make the most of the time I do have. So today, we're going to do something I have been curious about trying. We're going to be normal. No Ice Queen. I'm not sick. We aren't spies. We're just Erica Hale and Ben Ripley, best friends." I smiled at her. 

"It's so like you to be so calm in the midst of a crisis." I laughed. I noticed as she said best friends a flicker of longing in her eyes. 

"So. Do you wanna ditch these guys and go get cocoa?" Erica asked, acting more like her alias Sasha Rotko than Erica Hale. 

"Cocoa? Is that-" 

"Ben! Please! I know how much sugar I should be eating, and I got an insulin pump. It will alert me if my levels are wonky." she lifted her coat off her waist to show me a black device connected to her standard utility belt. I nodded. 

"Okay. I trust you. Cocoa it is." we ran to catch up with our friends who had gotten a bit ahead of us. 

"Hey! Erica and I are going to split off to get some shopping done. We'll meet you all later." I told the others.

"Have fun!" Trixie called as we walked away.

"Keep it PG!" Mike teased. Erica rolled her eyes.

"Same to you!" she shouted back at Mike and her sister. We reached the town square. It was all covered in thick powdery snow, and there were trees, holly, and lights everywhere. We entered a cozy little cafe and ordered two hot cocoas, then sat in the corner at a small coffee table. Erica pressed up against me, sipping her cocoa. We sat in silence for a while until Erica broke the silence. She stood up and set her empty mug on the table, then pulled me up. I put down my mug too.

"Where are we going?" I asked her.

"Shopping silly!" she grinned.

"Wow. I didn't know you had any teen girl in you." I teased, running after her.

"I trust you enough to show you more than just my outside." she smiled, her icy blue eyes twinkling in the sunlight. She pulled her light blue scarf closer around her face and put her arm over my shoulder, dragging me along the sidewalk. We entered a cozy little knickknack shop where Erica began gathering a pile of gifts for our friends. I wandered around, picking up things here and there, but I couldn't stop thinking about what to get Erica. If it was true, if she really didn't have much time left, there weren't a lot of gifts she would be able to enjoy for long. I needed to get her something special, meaningful. 

"Do you need help finding something for someone?" I turned around to see the shop owner, a pretty young blonde.

"Um-" I gulped, feeling my chest burning. The girls eyes grew concerned.

"Are you okay?" she asked me, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Uh, I- I need a gift for, for my friend, but, but it needs to be really, really meaningful." I felt my eyes burning. The kind shopkeeper squeezed my shoulder.

"Hey. Whats wrong?" I couldn't take it anymore. I broke down, tears flooding from my brown eyes.

"My best friend- she's dying." I cried. "and I can't do anything to help."