Spy School Christmas Cheer

Breaking

As the ambulance pulled up in front of the Hale's house and Erica was lifted in Catherine rushed over to me. 

"Are you sure I can't come?" I cried. Catherine hugged me. 

"No, Ben, I'm sorry to say but the doctors informed me that won't be necessary."

"Why???" I sobbed even harder into Catherine's shoulder.

"They- they don't think she's going to make it." Catherine was crying too. She pulled back and handed me something. A flash drive. 

"It's from Erica. She told me to give this to you if anything ever happened to her." I nodded, then watched sadly as Catherine climbed into the ambulance and it sped away. Mike timidly came up behind me.

"Buddy? You okay?" I wheeled around, snapping. My tears flooded out like a waterfall. I'm not proud of what I did next.

"HELL NO I'M NOT OKAY! MY BEST FRIEND IS DYING! FOR ALL I KNOW SHE MIGHT ALREADY BE DEAD! SO DON'T ASK ME STUPID QUESTIONS WHEN THE ANSWER IS OBVIOUS!" I blew past him and all my other friends, running up the stairs and into Erica's bedroom. I flung myself down on her light blue comforter and buried my face in her pillows, inhaling the scent of lilacs and gunpowder that I would so badly miss. After a minute I sat up, pulling out my phone and inserting the drive Catherine had given me into it. A video file popped up and I pressed play. 

(the video) Erica sat on her bed in her Spy School dorm. She looked uncharacteristically emotional. Then she spoke.

"Ben- this is a video for you in case anything ever happens to me. If you are seeing this it means I'm probably dead, or fighting for my life and loosing. I hope for my sake that that doesn't happen, but here goes." Erica picks up a guitar.

"I wanted to sing this song for you. I have been practicing a lot, its a little secret hobby of mine. This ones for you."

(Control; by Zoe Wees)

Early in the morning I still get a little bit nervous
Fighting my anxiety constantly I try to control it
Even when I know it's been forever I can still feel the spin
Hurts when I remember and I never wanna feel it again

Don't know if you get it cause I can't express how thankful I am
That you were always with me when it hurts I know that you understand

I don't wanna lose control
Nothing I can do anymore
Trying every day when I hold my breath
Spinning out in space pressing on my chest
I don't wanna lose control

Sometimes I still think it's coming but I know it's not
Trying to breathe in and then out but the air gets caught
Cause even though I'm older now and I know how to shake off the past
I wouldn't have made it if I didn't have you holding my hand

I don't wanna lose control
Nothing I can do anymore
Trying every day when I hold my breath
Spinning out in space pressing on my chest
I don't wanna lose control

I need you to know I would never be this strong without you
You've seen how I've grown you took all my doubt
Cause you were home

I don't wanna lose control
There's nothing I can do anymore
I don't wanna lose control
Nothing I can do anymore (anymore), anymore
Trying every day when I hold my breath
Spinning out in space pressing on my chest
I don't wanna lose control

tears are spilling out of Erica's eyes.

"Anyway. Thats all. But Ben? I want you to know- that I love you. And I'm really sorry if we never got to have a relationship. Goodbye, Ben Ripley."