Wait for Me - Alicia Clark {on hold}

You'll Never Know

-What'a your story?
She asked not really sure if it was the appropriate moment.
-Hum...
-It's okay, I shouldn't have asked...
-No it's okay, it's just... I haven't told anyone actually what happened to me.
-It's okay if you don't want to!
-No I'll do it, it might help!
And with that I started. Coming from L.A, being a young nurse, the calls, my mother being one of the firsts, running away, seeing my whole family fading away, burying them and the long path alone.
-So you've been alone since the beginning?
-Practically, yes. It's only me and Faro. I tried once being with people but it did not end well... That's why it's hard for me being here, with all those people, having to live in sync and everything. I'm so used to being alone, trusting only myself that I became a lone wolf in a way. I'm the opposite of your path.
We talked for a very long time this night, talking both of our lives, before and after it collapsed. Almost the whole night, being careful to not speak to loud. I never talked about this before because I simply was alone and never had the opportunity to bound over with someone but it's different, I feel like I can slowly trust her. Opening up to her is easy, not painful, it helps to process the trauma still very present. There's not a day where I don't think about them. There's not a night where I don't whisper to them "Wait for me".

The night was short but worth it. The following day was spent trying to walk, over and over again, getting to know the people around me, asking myself the same question everyday: should I stay?
Faro is happy to be here with people treating him well, be able to play with Charlie, give company to the group, actually leaving his best life, the life he should live. I found a place outside where no one else came, by the river, quiet with trees. I went there a lot to rest outside and let Faro enjoy the air and the grass, play with him, to finally have the bound we used to have before. I'm laying on the ground, Faro by my side, listening to the water near by. It's peaceful. I never knew I could live this feeling again until the silence broke by a door opening behind me, Faro getting up to greet whoever this was. I hear their footsteps coming closer.
-So this is where you escape most of the time?
I opened my eyes, blinded by the sun behind the leaves, seeing her petite silhouette.
-Guilty.
-I never knew there was a place like this here! It's nice. Can I sit with you?
-Of course.
Faro joined us, laying next to Alicia, letting his head rest on her thighs.
-He likes you a lot! He will miss you...
She is looking at him with loving eyes.
-You're leaving?
-Soon I guess, when I fully healed.
I heard in her voice some kind of deception.
-To be back on your own?
-Yes... I don't think a life in a group is for me...
-But you seemed to enjoy it right?
-Because you all are nice people and you helped me a lot but it doesn't mean it will keep me here.
-Aren't you tired of it? Being alone, living in fear all the time?
Okay she made a point here.
-I will find a place.
-But we're not enough?
-It's more complicated Alicia... And if you want me to stay just say it!
I joked, still laying on my back and her sitting in front of me.
-Then stay? Try it for awhile? If you don't like it anymore then you can leave.
-I don't know Alicia...
-We're not bad people, we won't shut you out if you want to stay, I think we'll all be happy actually...
-Really?
-Yeah, you and Faro are a great addition to this group!
I didn't give her an answer yet.
-I'll leave you alone. See you later!
She stood up and started to leave. I closed by eyes and bit my lip.
-Alicia?
I stood up, facing her who turned around.
-Okay I'm trying to stay... One month! Not more okay?
I say her trying to hide a smile, nodding and leaving.

Later that day, as my feet got better and better, I tried helping them as much as I could. I came in the kitchen, or what they made a kitchen to ask if I could help but I was met by an all smiley John:
-Oh no! You're not helping! Just get ready! Tonight we're having a little party!
-What? Why?
I asked a little amused.
-Because you're staying with us!
-Oh I see... Hum okay then!
-It won't be much, just some food with music Daniel has and trying to dress up a little. Nothing fancy right?
-Okay noted!
So I walked back to my bed sitting there for few seconds to walk again to the place they kept clothes, maybe they found some stuffs that could be pretty and could fit me? After looking in every pile, I found a dress, maybe it could be fine? I went showering very quickly and tried it on. It fits and it's actually pretty, she's made of a deep blue with little flowers on it. I let my hair down and put my boots on since it's the only shoes I have. I walked back to the kitchen where everyone was moving around, some others already outside in the late summer evening. They prepared a campfire, I smiled at the sight. Everyone seemed so happy and cheerful, putting everything together weirdly because I was staying? It actually warmed my heart. People there enjoyed my presence, how odd. I walked around asking what should I do but no one gave me orders since the party was for me so I wandered around until everything was settled. Men put their best shirts and women tried to find dresses in the big closet like me. It felts so nice so we all started to take out seats on the logs and chairs when she finally showed up. Alicia arrived running, knowing she is late, trying to give us a smile. She looked breathtaking. She put a white dress, doing the hair style she did sometimes like a half ponytail but looking better tonight. I knew I found her attractive and maybe I started to have a small crush on her since we got to know each other better but I tried to shut it down because this isn't right in a world like this. Al who was on my left whispered in my ear with a smirk:
-Close your mouth, you'll catch flies.
-What? I'm... No...
She caught me off guard but Alicia came and sat next to me, saving me from this situation.

The evening started so well, people were laughing, enjoying their time all together, drinking the bad beer Sarah found but since it's been such a long time that I haven't tasted beers that it's effect were almost immediately affecting my body. Daniel playing his old records, some people were dancing like John and June. I got bolder as well, standing up, posing my beer on my chair.

-It'll be fun!
-We don't even know this song!
-Who said I didn't?
-You know this old song?
And with that I started to sing along, proposing my hand to connect our bodies to dance.
-You'll never know just how much I miss you
You'll never know just how much I care
And if I tried, I still couldn't hide my love for you
You ought to know, for haven't I told you so
A million or more times?
-You do know this song...
-Yes ma'am, let's thank my dad for once.
But then I realised what I did. She is close, so close. My hand in hers, the other one on her hip, swaying us softly, our faces inches from each other. I started to blush furiously.
-What? You're loosing it Ward?
-Me? Never!
I tried to sound confident, I think it worked. But there's one thing sure by now, trying to hide away my crush and bury it deep down isn't possible anymore...

_________________________________________

Hey beautiful people!

I finally processed the episode (kind of) to continue to write! I'm so happy because writing this part helped a lot haha ☺️

I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it! Oh and did you get the ADC Easter egg???

Tell me what you think and take care 🥰