Okay!!! Now my girlfriend is away and I am staying on my own at the place we had rented out together. I am excited, this will be the first time I stay on my own. Holding down two odd jobs at a restaurant and a pub and I am sure that I got this. In my mind I had it all mapped out, I will work while I apply for varsity and maybe work while I study...
With the depression at its peak my only hope is that if I can make this work for myself I can have something to look forward to, like graduating in two or three years time and my girlfriend would be back with me by then and we would be preparing for our happily ever after. Mara noooo!! Eseng moya, moya ore you can't make plans and exclude me from them.
I had met ugobela wakhe, ne mpande yonke. Oh my they were all so supportive of us as a couple, her as an initiate and they understood how it must have been to have separated from my girlfriend they were all there for me when I needed to cry or find out how she was doing.It's a little fuzzy in my head now but I think she, my girlfriend, invited me to a ceremony that was happening in PTA that was held by impande la athwasa khona and I was there. I had never been to a real dlozi ceremony before until this one. I slept on the floor in the house ya mama was gobela the first night I went there and the third night I remember having to sleep on the floor using moseme like how the initiates would sleep. After my first visit, my girlfriend had to drive me to the taxis and we got lost on our way there a couple of times. I am on my third visit there right now, so I just had my hair neatly plaited into cornrows by an old friend who was there that afternoon(I had to have my cute hairdo undone an hour after it was done though lol). What this means is, I had my hair done and suddenly started to feel a tingle on the center of my head which then grew into a burning flame(my crown was on fire)...continues under comment section
(Please note the image used here isn't mine, it's someone else's image I am using just for support of the story)
Hey guys!!! I was feeling sensations I had never felt before, seeing visions I had never seen before. In HD!!! Voices were speaking foreign languages in my head, some languages I could understand but all of them were too loud. I couldn't make out any of the words but my soul knew, my spirit didn't understand- my soul did. It was all familiar to my soul because I heard the voice of my soul mumble, "I didn't know how to tell you this any other way or make it easier for you because you are so stubborn but this is it!!!
Haibo guys, I was fully engulfed by idlozi. The spirit was in complete control of my body, speaking revelations of my future. Confessing the aches of the past and saying it wants no more of that pain, "KUBUHLUNGU SIFUNA UKUPHOLA. SIFUNA UKUGUQA SIDLE AMAKHAMBI SIGOBE SIPHOLE!"
After I got out of this trance that took up almost half the evening, I was a changed woman. My voice sounded different in my own ears, I couldn't believe my eyes, I couldn't believe my enhanced senses. I needed to sleep on the cold floor, I felt some weird kind of solace in that. The spirit that was invoked that night had confessed that they needed to be there and that I could not leave anymore, this spirit said they wanted igobongo la see magcekeni and we all know igobongo mawulishaya sowungenile ephehlweni nje.
Haibo no, I want to go home. I can't go home me and my mother aren't the best of friends and she is all I have but I can't go home. I need to go back to my place and be all alone again and figure this shit out. What do they mean bafuna ukuphola? Bafuna ukupholiswa wubani? Me? I can't! I won't!!!
You know those people who have encounters of visiting ikhaya lama dlozi wabo lokukhula as just a visit and they never come back? Like the ones who are taken by amanzi and return months or even years after sebethwasile. I was one of those people. But with me, I didn't have a family to call for help, I didn't have anyone. I AM PANICKING!!! I can't afford this, my mother does not support this!!! My girlfriend uyathwasa, I am meant to be waiting for her to get on her back as if ngiyagova or ngshaya umtshitshi on a moving train.Okay so umama, my girls gobela at the time is like what??!!! We have never seen this before too. So then I ask to be hlahlubad so I am being hlahlubad and after that session all there was to do was a river rituals and blood sacrifice, for cleansing and to ask abo gogo ukuthi no guys siyacela nime kancane she will be right back just not now... River ritual was done the next morning, and I was planning on leaving. I can't breathe, I am suffocating in my head my body felt too weak too brittle too small for this soul that resided in it.
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UHAMBO x THE JOURNEY
Non-FictionAn inter and intrapersonal experience. The beginning of the spiritual journey of Dungamanzi, a young black new age sangoma, shared to conscientize the young black African of the hardships and rewards of ukuthwasa and how to integrate that into ever...