Things Not Said

Chapter 4: Kyle

Kyle

I stand in front of room 36, nerves eating away my common sense. I look down the hall to see a person hurrying past me and through the double doors. I take a deep breath readying myself. The knob is cold in the palm of my hand as I push the door open.

To the left stand the same bare, white walls, old television, and the flowers I’d put there yesterday still sitting on the windowsill. I turn to the left and see her in the bed, the covers tracing her body. Today, she’s awake and eating. She still looks pale, but much healthier than yesterday. I step forward and she looks up at the sound of my shoes on the floor. I see a smile appear.

“You’ve come to stare at me?” she asks with a mocking tone.

I laugh, “Well, I just had to come back to explain myself, even though staring at you is endlessly entertaining.”

She giggles and I see her cheeks blush red.

“Well then explain yourself. If your explanation scares me, then I’m sorry but you’ll have to leave and never stare at me again.”

I take a deep breath as if I readying myself and look into her eyes once more. Those green, loving eyes.

“Well you see I come to this room around once every two weeks to visit because someone I cared about died in this room.” I see her look away, embarrassed, but I keep talking.

“I bring flowers and put them in the vase by the window; her favourite flowers. Then, I go to the bedside table and change the book for a new one,” I point to The Kite Runner, the book I’d last left there, “and I read aloud from it. I know she’s listening and her soul must wander here once in a while to listen to me read. I took them all from her library she left to me before she…”

I close my eyes and choke back a feeling that is stuck in my throat, “Before she went to a better place. But then I walk in here; same time as usual and I find you, in her bed. And I’m not scared, or angry. Well scared at first ‘cause you caught me dancing like and absolute idiot but in the end, I’m just, happy that I finally have some company. Someone to talk to.”

I look up to see Allie’s eyes filled with tears though none spill over. I look away quickly to the Chinese Day Lilies on the windowsill then back to her, a smile plastered on my face.

“I’m Kyle, by the way. Kyle Jepsen. I hope I didn’t scare you enough so that I don’t get to come back,” I look at her, hopefully.

She answers me with a sad smile, “I’m Allie Carter.” She looks at me as thought trying to remember if she’d seen me before. “Do I know you Kyle?”

I shake my head and look up at her, realizing she’s not just joking around. She doesn’t remember me. I feel my heart stop and my hands begin to shake. She doesn’t… remember me. I find my heart fill with sadness as much as relief. I know it’s been a long time, but does it really take that little time to forget someone you’d been so close to almost your whole life?

On the other hand, if she doesn’t remember me, then she doesn’t remember my mistakes. I can erase them erase everything I ever did badly. But the sadness of her forgetting overtakes that of relief. I thought I meant more to her than that.

“I… go to your school,” I manage.

She closes her eyes tightly, wincing from her stitched eyebrow.

“Of course.” I look up to her hopefully, thinking maybe she remembered. I’m quickly disappointed. “I’m sorry Kyle, but since the accident, I don’t remember much from the past couple of years. I feel stupid—”

“Oh no!” I interrupt, finally understanding, “Don’t be, I should be saying sorry. I would have a hard time remembering people with that big a bump on my forehead.”

She smiles weakly and I see her cut lip spread. I wince and she looks away. I suddenly feel unbelievably stupid.

“How did it happen?”

She looks up to me and I look back.

“Sorry?”

I gesture to the lump on her head.

“Oh,” she answers, finally understanding what I mean. I wait for her to continue.

“I was in a car accident,” she begins, “The roads were icy and the car came out of nowhere. After that, all I remember is a big truck rushing towards our car and toppling us over. I heard from the doctor that the bump didn’t appear during the crash, but afterwards when my father tried to help me out of the wreckage. He opened the door and I fell out, hitting my head on the concrete my seatbelt barely keeping me up. That’s why my memory’s not too great these days…”

She swallows hard and looks away shyly. I find myself filled with an unexplainable anger. If her father had just waited, she would’ve remembered me? It wasn’t his job, his place to open the door. He should’ve waited for the ambulance, the paramedics: they could’ve helped. I clench my jaw shut, holding back the words I want to yell out. Seeing my anger, Allie quickly catches herself.

“It wasn’t his fault, Kyle. Yes, he’d been driving the car, and yes, he’d opened the door. But he wasn’t drunk believe me. The police made him take a Breathalyzer test and he passed.” She didn’t mention that he’d only been point five below the limit. Because that, I knew. I shake my head and take the book from my bag.

I set it on her bedside table and take the old one back. I repeat my routine with the flowers as Allie awkwardly sits, her head bowed, as if regretting her words. When I’m done, the nurse comes in and to take Allie’s food tray away. She’s plump and red with short, blond hair. She’s obviously used to Allie getting unexpected visitors as she smiles at me and asks how I’m doing.

 I smile and look to her nametag. It reads ‘Kathy’.

“I’m doing great Kathy, how are you?”

“Well, ain’t he a little charmer?” she laughs, her strong southern accent bursting through making it near impossible to understand what she’s saying. Allie, though, seems to understand well. She laughs, full-heartedly. It had been a while since I’d seen her do that.

“Get some rest, dear. We want you getting better.” She stores Allie’s table and tucks her in.

“And y’all visitors,” she resumes, pointing at me, “should pay a little more respect for lunchtime.”

I nod and Allie smiles.

“You should probably go anyway. My dad will be here soon.”

I nod at the words, quickly swinging my bag onto my shoulder.

“If you need anything, call me,” I say, writing my number on a piece of paper and setting it on the table, “Really anything.” I look into her eyes, making sure she understands.

“Anything,” she repeats and I breathe out, relieved. I point to the door behind me and spin around.

“Hey Kyle!”

I spin around quickly and catch Allie’s eyes.

“Thanks. For coming I mean.” I nod and she says: “Come back anytime.”

I nod again and, clutching my book, leave Allie to sleeping.

***

Hey readers!

Quite a short/boring chapter but it introduces Allie's and Kyle's relationship and is really a necessary chapter. Keep on reading, it gets more interesting :)

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Book: Revolution by Jennifer Donnelly <--- seriously amazing book and a MUST READ.

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-Readingandstuffs-