Things Not Said

Chapter 18: Kyle & Andrew

 Kyle 

I run into the room yelling, “Allie, I did it, they accepted my art, all because of y-”.

I stop at the sight of the empty bed. I check the bathroom but am not surprised not to find her there: the bed is made and it looks clean as though no one has been living here at all for the past few months. I look to the windowsill and find my vase was taken away and the flowers are no longer there.

By her bed, on the table, lies the last book I’d brought her: A Bend In The Road.

I pick it up and feel my heart sink below my stomach and down, down, till it reaches the floor. It takes all my strength to run out of the room, dragging my feet that feel so heavy as though they’re made of lead.

When I finally make it down the stairs and to the receptionist’s desk, I’m about to ask where Allie has gone when I hear the hospital doors slide open and my name being called. I spin around.

Andrew

Turning away from the receptionist’s desk I see my father standing by the hospital’s sliding doors. Tears are flowing from his eyes and he looks at me, ready to break down to the floor and cry.

A thought passes through my mind but I suppress it, telling myself to stop being ridiculous. Allie’s fine. Isn’t she?

“Where’s Allie?” I ask. My voice is steady and I look from the lady behind the desk to my father.

“Where is she, Albert?”

My dad’s tears keep flowing and I can see the receptionist’s cheeks become damp.

“Andrew…” I take in the pain in his voice as he says my name but refuse to believe what he’s trying to tell me. Allie is fine. She is. I was here a few days ago and she’d been fine. There’s no way she’s… no, let’s not think about that. They probably just changed her room. As I realize what had actually happened, I turn to the receptionist.

“Could I have Allie’s new room number please?” I don’t understand why these two are getting so teary about Allie changing rooms. We’d just go visit her there.

“Andrew…” my dad repeats.

I don’t look at him and keep my stare on the receptionist.

“She’s-” the woman’s voice chokes on her tears, as she says, “She’s not here anymore, Andrew.”

I shake my head, confused. Not here anymore? Why did they make her move hospitals? This is the only hospital in Golden: I don’t want to have to get in a car everytime I want to visit her.

“Well then where is she?” I ask, rolling my eyes.

“She’s… she’s in a better place Andrew.”

Kyle

My heart stops. I can feel it stop beating. There, in my chest where my heart used to be is nothing. I feel my legs collapse beneath me and I fall to the cold, hospital floor. I slide down the desk and lay my head on the cold surface. No, no, no, NO!

I take my fist and punch the floor, over and over until my knuckles are bloody and broken. I feel arms wrap around me and I don’t shrug them away like I would’ve normally done. Because right now, the overwhelming sadness has taken over everything. I can’t feel my broken hands shuddering but I can see them. I can’t feel my tears drip from my eyes but I can see them. My vision blurs as a pair of strong arms lift me and bring me to a room in the hospital. Before I leave the waiting area, I can see everybody’s eyes on me, almost every face painted with tears.

Andrew

 I sit on a table in the doctor’s room and he takes my hands away from my face and quickly wraps my bloody knuckles before gesturing to my father to take me away. I find myself in the car and before I know it, we're at home and in the driveway. I step out onto the front lawn and feel my dad’s arms  around me.

Suddenly, a rush of anger floods my thoughts. I push him onto the front lawn and he stumbles, losing balance but staying upright.

“You did this. You did this! It’s your fault she’s dead!” I take a raspy breath before throwing myself at him, attacking him with words of anger.

“After what happened to mom, you drank before getting into that car. You drank. Mom died because of a drunk driver, and you had no respect for that, you just went and killed your daughter the same way.”

I see his hands reach out to me, begging me to listen to him, but I smack them away with my bloody hands.

“Don’t come near me ever again,” I say before running into the house and slamming the door.