A Year Away

Chapter 6

-Sensitive Content Warning-

It's been about two weeks since my mom's letter and I have yet to call Aaron or get a response back from my mom. We've had one other call since, but dad had been on the phone with her so the topic didn't come up. Erik had been there after that one too, he hadn't said anything, but he'd noted my tension and relief to hang up with the same look he treater everything else I did.

The night had started to get easier. Well, I mean I hadn't had another episode in a while. I'd been sleeping through the night with far less nightmares and no other panic attacks. Sometimes I can hear Erik, though, walking past my door in the late hours of the night. I think he expects to hear me screaming my lungs out and sobbing.

It was around one in the morning when I woke up in a cold sweat. Another nightmare. It takes me a second to realize I am not in my house in South Carolina being called a sin by my parents and saved by the devil, but in the cozy twin bed I sleep in under the Klose's roof in Stuttgart, Germany.

I wipe my eyes with palm of my hands and take a few breaths. When my heart rate returns to normal, I get up and start to the bathroom. I wash my hands and splash some water in my face.

I look like my mom, I always have, and I kind of like it. My dad always seems so superficial and business-like, but my mom has a kind of kindness and gentleness to her. I'm not sure I have that myself, but I' glad I don't look like the intimidating priest Dad is.

I turn off the light and head back toward my room, but stop when I find Erik lingering outside my door.

"Well, if it isn't my personal stalker," I muse.

"Are you okay?" He asks cautiously.

I bristle, he really needs to keep to his own business. "I was going to the bathroom, Erik. Jesus, you are so paranoid." 

"I think I have a right to be." He insists.

I shake my head and try to pass him, but he steps forward to block my path to my room.

"Can we-" he sighs, "can we just talk. I won't poke, I promise. We haven't really talked much lately... how are your classes? How's exy? You guys have that game coming up, are you excited?"

I take a breath and sit down on the off-white carpet of the upstairs; Erik sits down next to me. "Classes are good," I start, "I feel comfortable in them now and it's nice being in an actual German class, not just American trying their best. Exy is really great. The team went out yesterday, since we have a week till our first game. I'm pretty excited, the team we're playing had a pretty good offense, so that means more work for me, but I think I can do it. And Stefan is a really good backliner, so I know I'll have someone strong backing me up."

"Plus, Sulc at goal." Erik added. "She's pretty hard to score on."

"Müller can do it."

"He is the team captain for a reason."

"Why did you quit?" I ask, because I'd always wanted to, but we stopped talking.

Erik shrugs. "I have nothing against the sport, I just... wasn't reallu jiving with it anymore."

"'Jiving with it'?" I raise an eyebrow. The word is weird in German, and if I wasn't so sure in comprehension of the language, I would've thought he said a word I didn't know.

"Isn't that an American term?"

"From the seventies. I think my parents said that in high school."

"My bad." He smiled. "I wasn't 'feeling it' anymore. I had some stuff going on in middle school and I got so distracted. I just couldn't keep my head in the game anymore. I started liking solo sports more: running, hiking, climbing. Things that would let me just think, and wouldn't cost me if I thought too much."