Soulbound

Guilt

     Arriving at Spinners end, Willa and Severus were greeted by darkness blanketing the sitting room. Severus stepped out of the fireplace and turned to offer his hand to Willa. The curtains hadn't been opened since their last trip home and the dust layering the coffee table showed the lack of housework. Severus placed the luggage down next to the fireplace and fumbled for his wand in his coat pocket but was cautious of using magic to light the room. Last visit Willa refused to use magic the entire stay and he was expecting her to repeat her expectations this visit as well. She reached for the light switched and flicked it to the on position and the lights overhead came on. They both looked up to admire the light and then towards each other.
"I'll carry our luggage upstairs and then I'll start dinner." Severus said bending down to gather the luggage once more.
"I'll help." Exclaimed Willa walking towards him. Her words forced him to close his eyes. He knew she would do this. He wanted her to rest and heal but she physically just cannot stay still.
"No you will rest. Traveling is exhausting and I want you to take it easy." He shot back before kissing her forehead as he walked passed her making his way to the stairs. She walked behind him and turned on the stairwell light causing him to turn and find her standing there with a smile on her face. He raised his eyebrows and nodded towards the couch.
"Sit!" He fussed before turning back and headed up the stairs. Willa shook her head and walked back into the sitting room and plopped on the couch. She looked over at the side table where her sewing kit was left and began to think of something to make to busy herself. That's the moment she felt the emptiness return. The anger within herself for blindly chasing Sirius Black that night and potentially costing her the child growing inside of her. She thought for sure returning to Spinners end would give her the fresh start she needed to emotionally begin to heal from the miscarriage. There was no reminders of a baby or even the thought of a baby or so she thought. Lost in her thoughts she didn't hear Severus calling her name from behind. It wasn't until he knelt beside her and moved the blonde locks that fell in her face hiding the single tear that fell. Breaking her thought she noticed the puzzled look of Severus's face.
"I could have been making a blanket for our baby." Her words were straight forward and he followed her eyes to the basket filled with her sewing supplies. He quickly stood and closed the top to it hiding any fabric or tools. He placed it the cabinet under the shelf in the corner and turned to her.
"We shouldn't have come here. Everything is going to be a constant reminder of sadness. We should have stayed at Hogwarts." He then began searching for anything that would cause her to tailspin into an episode.
"No. I can do this. It's going to take time and besides each other, time is all we have."  Folding his arms, he looked down at Willa and curled his top lip. He wanted to give her all the time she needed but it wasn't the fact that she would be depressed, it was the idea of her not being able to save herself from the pain that she inflicted. He feared she would crumble and fall apart from the inside out. She waited for his understanding response but there was none.
"I'm going to start dinner." He snapped as he briskly made his way to the kitchen leaving Willa to her thoughts.
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    Willa insisted on doing the dishes after dinner. She could feel him watching her in silence from the doorway. Since the night before she felt a wedge fall between them. An awkward wedge, leaving the pit of her stomach sick. There was distrust once again. Severus supervised and eventually began drying the dishes and put them away. Willa noticed the separation between them, the bitter silence he contained, but she knew it was because of the hostility due to not getting his way. She wrapped her arms around his waist as he drank the last sips of his wine standing in the corner of the kitchen, but his returned affection wasn't what she expected. Instead of the usual whole bodied hug or a kiss on the top of her head, she cringed when he simple broke free of her embrace and washed out the glass before exiting the room. Again she shrugged it off and decided to give him space. She headed upstairs to the bathroom and began filling the bathtub with warm water before locating her luggage and rummaging through it to find her jars of bath salts. Fumbling through layers of clothing, she just couldn't seem to find the three small jars. The inability to simply locate the salt was enough to throw her over the edge and she began to weep over the opened suitcase. "Willa." A hushed voice called out from the doorway. Willa opened her swollen eyes to find Severus standing with his arms dangling beside either side of him. He was put together as usual, nothing but his wavy black hair was out of place. She turned away ashamed that she forced him to leave Hogwarts against his wishes. He was right. She wasn't ready.
"Why are you crying?" He asked inching forward towards her. Dipping her hands back into the suitcase for a second attempt to locate the jars she cleared her throat to steady her words.
"I can't find my bath salts." Severus smirked slightly at the mild issue.
"Darling, I put them in the bathroom on the shelf next to the tub." He calmly explained, pointing in the direction of the bathroom. Willa sighed and wiped her tears away. Severus reached out and collected her hands, pulling her to stand and wrapped her arms around him. He couldn't stay angry with her, not one bit. Her thoughts rang out, and she wasn't blocking him from reading them.
"You were right." Screamed from her mind. Severus kissed the top of her head. Her soft curls pillowed his lips and muffled his grin.
"I feel like this is the proper moment to tell you I also put your shoes in the closet." Between sniffles Willa began to laugh. It was deep like it used to be. Looking down at her glowing face he chuckled before she reached his lips with hers. It was the first true kiss they shared in weeks, and it gave Severus the hope that possibly he was wrong and she is on the right path to healing within.