'TIS THE DAMN SEASON

4.

Winter Wonderland plays quietly on a nearby record player as Sirius attempts to wrap his nephew's gifts. "Rems, wanna grab me the sellotape, babe? I...I'm gonna bloody well need a lot of it," He chuckes softly.

Remus smirks, the corners of his lips curving upwards. "Yeah, 'course," He replies swiftly as he retrieves the sellotape. He hands Sirius the sellotape and Sirius reaches to squeeze his hand.

"You've been awfully quiet this evening, Moony," Sirius pauses. "Actually, you've been awfully quiet for the past two weeks. Is something wrong, love?" He inquires cautiously.

Remus shakes his head, shaking the claim away. "M'fine," He swears. It's a lie. A big, god awful, lie.

"Remus," Sirius shakes his head, sighing softly, his expression falling to that of a saddened, sympathetic one. "I....love, I know Christmas can get hard for you and I just want you to knot that I-"

"I said I was fine!" Remus snaps suddenly.

"Love you...." Sirius trails, finishing his sentence despite Remus' interruption, with a slight waver of his voice.

Remus sighs. "Please...just leave it, will you?"

Sirius watches as Remus leaves the room, his head bowed and his features tired. Christmas is usually a jolly, delightful time of the year, filled with love and adoration and generosity. But for Remus, it often floods back some not so loving memories.

Sirius thinks of Lyall Lupin. He feels his blood boil intensely at the thought of Remus' father. Lyall had abandoned Remus and his mother, Hope, early one Christmas morning when Remus had been merely five years old. They had never heard from him since, Remus is unsure if his own father would even recognize him now.

Hope, a delicate and sweet woman, quiet and reserved, raised Remus until he was sixteen and she could no longer deny and ignore her weakening health.

Cancer.

At thirty two years old, Hope Howell Lupin became submerged into strenuous chemotherapy and multiple hospital visits that she simply could not afford

When Remus was eighteen, fresh out of school and new to college life, Sirius will never forget his boyfriend's face as he received that call.

The call to let him know that the cancer had spread to Hope's brain, integrating through the very liquid that surrounded her brain, giving her no chance of survival.

They had given her two entire weeks.

Hope Howell Lupin lived four days after the threatening diagnosis. Four fucking days.

The funeral had been the week before Christmas. Sirius found bitterness in this. How could the universe taint Christmas for Remus again? For a second time?

But Remus had never been like this before. He had never been cold or distant. He had merely ever only been quiet and soft spoken around Christmas. Sirius has never seen Remus so distant, so far away from him.

Sirius doesn't like this one bit.

Sirius shakes the thoughts from his mind. He glances down at Bellamy's coloring set that he has yet to wrap. "Right," Sirius mumbles to himself. "This is going to be a good Christmas,"

Sirius finds Remus an hour later, having decided to give his boyfriend some space before arriving to their bedroom door with a tray. Sirius knocks lightly. "Remus, love? Can I come in?" Sirius calls softly.

Remus mumbles from inside the room, granting Sirius access.

Sirius shoves open the door. The curtains are closed and Remus is curled up beneath the duvets, flicking mindlessly through a photo album. "You alright?" Sirius asks. A photo album. Sirius' hunch of Remus undergoing grievance may be unfortunately accurate and correct.