A King Needs His Crow [Nikolai x Wylan] [Grishaverse]

Chapter 1

Nikolai had two things on his mind: a marriage and his hair.
Genya had been insisting on a marriage quite a bit recently. Ravka's coffers were empty, and there was an urgent need for improvement in diplomatic ties.
"You know, the Fjerdan princess is pretty," Genya had suggested.
Zoya huffed. "Uniting the first and second armies by marriage would be fine."
"No, we are at war," Genya argued. "We need a marriage with another country to secure an ally."
"The Shu princess is available. I can arrange a meeting," Tamar offered.
"No," Zoya protested. "We don't want our grisha near Shu experiments. I'm not donating any soldiers to the kherguud."
"I'm not interested," Nikolai mumbled, rolling his eyes. The prince had no interest in arranged marriage. He knew it was foolish, but he hoped to marry for love.
"David!" Genya shouted. David looked up like a morozova's stag in headlights, tucking his book beneath the table.
"Yes, wife?" David said, trying to sound interested.
"What do you think?"
"The Kerch?" He offered, non-committedly.
"Actually..." You could practically hear the gears turning in Genya's head. "Our intelligence can provide a list of wealthy merchant families, including any that have potential suitors."
"You don't wanna marry any of those greedy, gambling, profit-loving skivs," Zoya hissed.
"Well, that settles it," Genya sat up, putting her hands on her hips. A feeling of accomplishment bled through her voice. "Nikolai, meet with me tomorrow. I'll have a list of potential Kerch suitors."
Zoya scoffed, leaving the room. David followed Genya out of the room, his head in the clouds. The other attendants left the room one-by-one, leaving Nikolai alone. There he sat, in anguish, his head in his hands. Panic and strife rose in his throat like the temperature of hot soup. Nikolai didn't want this.

***In Ketterdam***

Wylan and Jesper were sprawled on the floor, Animal Crossing cards scattered about.
"I'll trade you for Raymond," Jesper offered.
"No," Wylan protested.
"Fine. Kaz will just scalp one off the black market for me."
Suddenly, there was a burly, manly presence in the doorway. Matthias stood, letter in hand, looking weary.
"It's for you, Wylan," he said.
The ginger boy turned his head towards the Fjerdan. "Is it from Geels?"
Jesper leapt up, in a lanky swath of man. "Let me read that!" He insisted, swiping the letter from Matthias' calloused hands. He tore open the envelope desperately.
"Dear Wylan Van Eck," he narrated for his dyslexic boyfriend.
"I, Nikolai Lantsov, Major of the TWenty-Second Regiment, Soldier of the King's Army, Grand Duke of Udova, and second son to His Most Royal Majesty, King Alexander the Third, Ruler of the Double Eagle Throne, write to you to offer my demon-scarred hand in marriage. Please meet with me at Fifth Harbor this Wednesday at 3:26pm."
Jesper howled out a guttural laugh. "A king wants to marry my Wy-Wy merching?"
"What the fuck?" Matthias said. "Is that counterfeit?"
Wylan let out an awkward laugh, feeling unsure. "Maybe we should get Kaz to look at that document."
"Have him do it," Jesper motioned towards the burly blond man. "Matthias, take your Fjerdan ass over to the Slat and get Kaz."

**

Dirtyhands was here. He stood in the doorway, a blot of unfathomable darkness in the form of a fleshy teenage boy.
"What?" he croaked.
"Can you look at this weird letter?" Wylan asked.
Kaz ripped the letter out of Wylan's hand.
He considered the letter. "Yes, this is really from Ravka," he said, tucking it into his jacket. "What the actual fuck is Nikolai thinking?"
He looked thoughtful for a moment, before stating, "You should consider this, Wylan. There's probably good tax incentives. Not that I pay them anyway."
"But I don't want to. I'm in love with Jesper."
Jesper looked unconvinced. "And I know that you love me. But you should just marry Nikolai for show."
"What the fuck is wrong with all of you? You're not actually gonna meet him, are you, Wylan?" Matthias looked hopeless.
"No wonder a king wants my Wy," Jesper said with a wink.
Jan Van Eck sauntered into the room, pushing Matthias to the side, face slamming into the floor. "Who would write a letter to you? You can't even read."
"Apparently the King of Scars would," Wylan introjected.
"I know who the King of Scars is," Matthias said proudly from his comfortable place on the floor.
Jan Van Eck was flabbergasted. This was more surprising than when he caught Wylan having an affair with his tutor.
"Why would a king want to concern himself with a little slimy snail who can't read?"
Wylan sniffled, tears filling the brim of his eyes.
"He is not a slimy snail," Jesper defended, "and he is fit for a king!"
Jan Van Eck pondered for a moment. "This makes up for your incompetence. If you were able to marry a king, I wouldn't have to worry about you not being able to read and manage the Van Eck fortune."
Jesper added, "It's not my favorite idea, but you can just do it without meaning it and get that royal Ravkan money."
Kaz smirked, money sign symbols filling his eyes. "Kruge," he muttered.
"By the way," Jesper proposed, "can you get us a Raymond Amiibo card off the black market?"