Elliot

Sixteen

We decided to take a walk after the dinner. It was, again, chilly that night. I wanted to hold his hand. But I didn't. I stuffed my hands in my pockets instead.

"Sorry 'bout them. They get so nosy sometimes." I said.

"It's alright," he said and chuckled. "They're actually fun. Specially you're Dad."

"Yeah, that actually makes sense. He likes you a lot."

"Oh, I know." He grinned. I think he's spending way too much time with me. Yikes. I laughed and we walked casually.

There's something weird about the night sky tonight. It's not the usual darkness with tiny shiny dots surrounding it. It was blurred and probably hazed. The moon was still there though. It still shone bright.

We walked for minutes, not actually knowing where we want to go. "What did Dad say to you?" I said.

"He told me that you talk about me too much."

"That's not true." Maybe it kinda is.

"Hmm. You sure?"

"Okay," I said. "maybe sometimes. But not all the times."

He laughed. "Well I'm flattered."

"You should be." I loved talking about him every time. Sometimes I think I'm a poet whenever I talk about him. Like a poet talking about his own poem. His own beautiful, lovely poem.

We stopped at the park. We sat at the swings. We swayed in the silent world.

Part of me wants to stand up and give him a hug. I just felt like he needed one. I think he always needed one. Is he really okay?

"I love it when we do this," he said. He was looking at the hazy night sky. Even at night, he still looked beautiful. A devastating art.

"Do what?" I said.

"This."

"We're doing nothing."

"Yes, I love doing nothing." He looked at me. He still had his wicked brown eyes. "Specially when I get to do it with you."

Of course. His cheesy remarks.

"You're weird."

He laughed. "You like that about me."

"I do." I really do.

I looked at him. He was already looking at me. I put up my hand, hoping for him to do the same. And he did. Then we both held each other's hand. I smiled, and he did too. We stayed for another minute. Then he stood up and let go of my hand.

"Where ya goin'?"

He pulled his phone from his pocket and anonymously tapped on it. He settled it down on the nearest bench. He walked towards me and held up his hand.

"Elliot Hamilton," he said. "Will you dance with me?"

"You know how to dance?"

"Oui. Mais je ne suis peut-être pas le meilleur. (Yes. But I may not be the best.)"

I snickered. I took his hand and he pulled me in the middle of the playground, just close to the bench where his phone sat. Music started humming on his phone. It was sweet and slow. Then we started swaying. His hand on my waist, the other clasped on mine. My hand on his shoulder, the other clasped on his.

At this moment, all I could think of was him. Just him. I forgot everything that bothered me for a while. He was here.

All I could see.

All I could hear.

All I could feel.

Him.

Just him.

He seemed to be the most happiest person at the moment. He was smiling the whole time. I was smiling the whole time. We were both just happy and it hurts. We leaned on each other's forehead. He closed his eyes. I closed my eyes. I could tell that he was still smiling. And I am too. I wish I could stay here forever.

"Sorry that we're not in a field of dandelions," he said.

That made me smile.

"I don't need the dandelions." I said. "I need you."

That made him smile even more. And then he laughed. And then I did too. He never fails to make me laugh.

"Now who's the cheesy one?"

"Shut up."

He laughed again. We continued swaying around in the empty park. The moon lit up our dance floor. I felt like I'm in a movie. Or maybe inside a book. Because everything that's happening was unbelievable and surely, beautifully, memorable.

Slow-sweet music. Chilly atmosphere. Empty park. Empty world. Hazy sky. Moonlight. My golden boy on my arms, under the universe above us. Tobias.

"Can I tell you something?" he said.

"Of course."

He leaned his head away and looked at me. I opened my eyes and looked at him. His eyes were beautiful. I could see thousands of different emotions through it.

"All this time, all this years that I've lived, I never thought that I'd feel this again," he said. "This warmth. This touch. This whole thing that we're having. I've dated a fair amount of people before, but none of them are like this. All of them left me, ghosted me, made me feel unimportant. I started doubting myself. I started considering myself that maybe... I'd be alone forever. That I'll live the rest of my life alone. That I'll die alone. That maybe having someone was not meant for me."

His eyes began shining. I've always hated seeing him in pain. Something inside me always made me feel twisted whenever I see him hurting.

"But, then, I met you. You were there when no one was. Your smile makes me delighted. Your laugh makes me happy. Your hug makes me feel safe. You make me feel safe. You make me happy. And I appreciate you for that. Thank you, Elliot. For everything."

I found myself smiling. Him and his charming words. No one has ever said that to me before. Is this what happiness is like?

"I think I wouldn't be able to beat that essay." I said.

He laughed. Then we stared at each other.

"You're not alone, Tobias." I cupped both of my hands on his face. "You're not alone anymore. I'll be with you. Whenever, whatever."

His tears began falling down. But he smiled anyway. And I kissed him. And he kissed me back. And I kissed him back. And he kissed me back. And we kissed under the night sky, under the expanded universe.

Maybe everything would be okay, at last.

But I didn't want to jinx it.

Maybe everything would be okay later. Or tomorrow. Or the other day. And the other other day. Maybe the universe wouldn't hate me anymore. Maybe the world wouldn't hate us anymore. For now, I'm here with him. And that was okay.

A little rain would be nice. I wished it would rain for a few moments.

And then it did.