Fantastic Breasts & Where To Find Them

Titbird Calling

Newt Scamander rushed across campus toward the Halloween Ball, praying that Brook Lynam would be there. "What if she rejects me?" he fretted. "I'll probably have to jump from my seventh floor window."

"Newt! Come quick!" Dean Ruthephus intercepted Newt on the lawn.

"I can't talk now, I'm in a hurry," he said.

"The Succubeast has struck again! We've just discovered a Dullpoint Muggle in an empty classroom, drained of his essence. She must have seduced him away from the dance! We must act quick. She might still be on campus, and, for all we know, she could hit it again tonight!"

"That's horrible," said Newt. "But I really must get to the Ball."

"Good idea," said Ruthephus. "Keep your eyes peeled for any unusual behavior. I'll survey the perimeter." The Dean ran off into the night, and Newt jogged down the hill to the Dining Hall.

The jazz band was playing Eddie Cantor's "Oh, Is She Dumb!" Newt's heart was racing as he looked around the room for the blonde girl. Finally, he found her over by the punch bowl wearing a tight-fitting, pale yellow-and-white striped skirt and blouse combo.

"My darling, I had to find you," he announced.

"Oh, really?" she replied. She put her hand on her hip. "I take it you liked my muffins."

"They were the most exquisite muffins in the history of baked goods! You look stunning tonight. I regret every day since I've arrived that I haven't asked you out."

"You want to get out of here?"

"I want nothing more." She took his arm and they slipped away, turning a few heads.

"Did Newt Scamander just leave with Brook Lynam?" Gabby asked Croila. "Don't tell Cass."

Newt felt lighter than air walking up the hill arm-and-arm with the attractive blonde. They used the cafe toilets to get to Titbird House. Impatient to be in each others arms, they followed the sewer rat to her room.

"I think I have always loved you," he told her as she closed her bedroom door. "Your Boston accent is like music in the night."

"Settle down, cowboy," she replied, pulling down the pale yellow skirt. "Don't worry, you're not going to remember any of this."

"How could I forget the night I declared my love for you?" he asked. They embraced and Brook started unbuttoning his vest. "Your eyes are like the infinite ocean..."

"Please shut up and kiss me," she said. They fell naked onto her four-poster bed. Newt kissed her soft breasts and caressed her thin, athletic frame. Touching his tongue to her naval, she arched her back and lifted her graceful neck off of the pillow.

"Go down on me," she told him in a broken whisper. He spread her fit legs and kissed up to her upper thighs. She tossed her head back in rapture, her golden hair spilling all over the bedsheets.

Newt came up for air and looked confused. "How did I get here?" he asked.

"Don't stop!" she begged, pushing his head back between her legs.

She cried out in ecstasy as he licked her for another minute. Then he sat up again. "Something's wrong," he said. "I shouldn't be here."

"Damn it," she said. "How much of that muffin did you eat?"

Newt stood up and started to walk away from the bed. Brook pointed her wand at the Magizoologist's back. "Obliviate!" Newt scrunched his forehead, having no idea where he was, and walked naked out into the sewer passage. Brook cursed and laid back down on her bed. She glanced over at the pile of their discarded garments, the wizard's wand peaking out of his crumpled cloak.

Newt stumbled into the Titbird common room in a daze, unaware that he had no clothes on. "Why am I in Titbird?" he asked the empty room. He remembered that he was supposed to be with Cass in his chambers. "Oh, no, Cass!" He was completely dumbfounded how he had left the sweet girl who had agreed to take a potion and come to him as Porpetina. He looked down and saw that he was nude. He had no wand to summon clothes, and he didn't know what to do.

"I couldn't have been a victim of the Succubeast, because I seem to still have my essence. But something very sinister is going on."

Remembering that Professor Washingbeard's office was in Titbird, he decided he should go find him and tell him what happened. At least Washingbeard could summon some clothes for him so he could walk home. He went down the misty tunnel and found the ten-foot-wide storm drain. It swung open and Newt climbed down into the Magical Creature instructor's cluttered office.

"Hullo?" he called, but the Professor was not at home. He looked around for something to wear and found a large cloak. It was covered in gross white stains. "Disgusting," he said, and threw it back on the floor, preferring nudity over wearing something that nasty.

Newt heard a muffled squeal. "Is that the Nutrisore?" he wondered. "Where is Washingbeard keeping that thing?" The squealing continued and he followed the sound to one of the Professor's many hoarded trunks. "Is it in here?"

He opened the trunk and saw that it was the size of a dungeon on the inside. Crawling down, he dropped into the dimly lit room. His eyes adjusted to the darkness and he screamed in terror.

Newt Scamander had researched horrible monsters on five continents, and was no stranger to some of the most awful and twisted sights. But what he saw now was one of the most disturbing things in his whole career. In a gigantic cage, the thirty-foot-long rat beast was nursing from a nude human wetnurse, rapidly and sloppily licking at her nipple. The girl sat there with blank eyes, in an empty trance, holding a large breast up to suckle the Nutrisore.

Newt cried out to her, "Deb?"