Stress Cookies! (Hermitcraft mini story)

Chapter 16 ♥︎

Alex started to stuff goodies onto a plate he could run away with into the woods, and hopefully not drop. A part of him wished he had a basket or a shulker to steal more, but a plate full was good enough. The smell drew him in, and even though he knew someone would spot him any second, he didn't really want to leave.

"Oh hey dude!" A voice called out from behind. 

Alex turned around quickly, caught in the act, and froze. Before he could react, said person fist bumped him with the hand not holding the plate. It was that Ren guy from earlier from the black sand place, but instead of wearing normal attire, he had a hideous Christmas sweater, red and green lenses for his sunglasses, and fitting snow boots for the cold.

Alex knew he should run, and he probably could at least make it to the woods before they could run after and catch him, but there was no hostility in Ren's voice so Alex made the knowingly stupid decision to stay as see how it would play out.

"If Stress trusts him, he can't be that bad right?"

"Oh uh- hi?" Alex said, trying his best to pretend like he wasn't just downright stealing food.

"How ya doin'? I haven't seen you in awhile man." Ren asked. He had a plate and drink of his own, with half eaten goods on it like he tasted every one before eating any. His eyes were contently droopy, and his posture was overly relaxed. Alex glanced at him with a weird look that Ren didn't seem to notice or respond to.

"Uhm, baking cookies?" Alex said, and facepalmed internally when he realized that wasn't exactly what Ren had asked. Ren didn't seem to mind though, continuing to talk.

"Awesome, thanks for these by the way; They're delicious." He held up a deformed cookie, clearly that one Alex made. Surprisingly, it was still warm enough to see the heat rising off in the cold air, and he could smell it from where he stood.

"Where's Stressy? I thought you were going to cling to her side this whole party?"

"Wait what-" Alex thought over his comment. "I'm allowed to be here?" He asked cautiously. Sorta realizing that statement made him clearly look like a thief even more.

Another voice came up from behind. "Of course, dude!" It was another voice that said dude too much, but this time it was british. He also recognized him when he got a closer look, the mustache man that was making the Christmas lights on his base. Oh right, that was Mumbo.

Ren took a sip of his drink and nodded with Mumbo.

"This isn't some elaborate prank from X is it?" Alex thinned his eyes, very suspicious.

"Didn't X tell you?" Mumbo asked.

Alex didn't respond, but gave him a raised eyebrow instead.

"He's even more of a spood than I am." Mumbo chuckled, but Alex didn't get what "spoon" meant. He figured it was close to how X used the term "Derp".

"And yes, you are invited to the party. This is the first one you've shown up to though-" Mumbo shrugged like this was common news.

"Wait what?"

"Xisuma says you don't check your mailbox- or don't have one. I'm guessing you don't answer the door either, because X has been trying to get you to one of these for at least a season."

"He- has.....?" But before Alex could think over it anymore, he glanced towards Stress and Xisuma, now with another group of friends all chatting comfortably. Happily. A woman with blue-greenish skin and bright orange hair roughly punched Xisuma in the arm, and the two laughed like the friends they were, even as Xisuma rubbed his arm. Another man with glasses and a blue shirt scolded her and rolled his eyes, but it was clear he was having fun too. Stress had a bright smile from ear to ear even under the layers of winter gear.

"Love the purple scarf by the way." Ren interrupted his staring, leaning his elbow on Alex's plated shoulder casually. "Ties the look together."

"Uh, thanks. Stress gave it to me." Alex said, starting to feel slightly more comfortable.

A tall looming figure walked up to the three and Alex froze. He had a red glowing eye and a mechanical arm and was considerably taller than the three of them, even Mumbo.

"Oh my god I'm sorry about him." The deep German voice spoke. He put his hand on Ren's shoulder and stole the drink, holding it far away from the man who hadn't even noticed yet. Alex felt a surge of protectiveness over Ren temporarily and held back from lunging into action when Mumbo didn't seem fazed.

"He's had too much to drink-" The person explained. "I told Cub the eggnog was a bad idea, but no one listens to logic around here!" Doc glanced at Alex who was sizing him up and looking at Ren in his slightly dazed state. Alex could see the influence of alcohol now.

"I'm Doc by the way, nice to meet you. You don't have to be scared- I'm not going to blow up. Or kill you. Just don't make me mad." He chuckled darkly.

"Uh-h nice to meet you." Alex said, hoping he sounded more intimidating than he felt.

A short guy ran up to the group and grabbed Ren's glasses. Sprinting away before the drunken man could react. Ren frowned.

"Sorry Ren! It was a dare!" The man yelled as he ran into the distance towards another group of friends, a red headband trailing behind him.

"Don't annoy me, like my beloved neighbor Bdubs does-" Doc sneered quietly.

"C'mon ren, let's go get those hideous sunglasses back." Doc said, guiding him towards the thief named Bdubs.

"Yeah Doc, you'll show 'im!" Ren said, punching a loose fist in the air. "Bye Alex, man! Enjoy the party and say hi to Stressy for me!" Ren did finger guns as he spun on his heel towards Doc. The spin was apparently a bad idea, because he immediately felt dizzy and started to wobble before Doc caught him with a roll of his eyes.

"Doc's a lot, but don't worry, he won't kill you unless you touch his goat mountain thing." Mumbo assured Alex.

"Good to know..." Alex mumbled.

"Hey you!" Another voice called.

Alex looked towards the voice and saw a blonde woman with a sword in her hands. His guard raised up from the weapon, but he didn't move. With a second to process, he saw it was wooden, and that this wasn't a real threat.

"I've heard you're good at PvP. Are you as good as Xisumavoid?" She asked.

"This is False." Mumbo introduced. "And I'm not sure you wanna fight her, man. I mean, it's your choice, but she's pretty much the best of the best around here. Your dignity has more of a chance of being shattered than your limbs if you're worried though."

Alex looked at Mumbo, and then back at False, who had way too confident of a grin for someone a foot shorter than him.

"Pff, I'm way better than X. Have you even seen how he holds an axe?" He quipped back.

"Wanna prove it? It's a holiday tradition to challenge me with wooden words. Iskall's the only one to come close this year."

A person behind her with a green vest shrugged, who Alex assumed was Iskall. At least he had a face to the name now.

Alex put down his sacred plate of treats and nodded his head down. "You're on."

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Funny story, Ren wasn't even going to be drunk until I accidentally made his dialog sound like it! Thanks for reading!