Bubblegum and Blood Roses ● Supernatural FanFic {𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝}

Chapter 12: 𝕋𝕙𝕖 ℚ𝕦𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕎𝕒𝕪 𝕥𝕠 𝕒 𝕄𝕒𝕟'𝕤 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥

A weight seemed to have been lifted from Cansas' shoulders, thanks to the Winchesters finally knowing about Loki. But a new, heavier one replaced it as soon as she was alone with Bobby Singer.

The air today seemed colder, more biting than it had been yesterday--or even earlier this morning. But that could be because Bobby was looking just as cold as the weather.

Cansas had tried to get Dean or even Sam to come with them to grab stakes out of the car, but one look from Bobby had them freezing in their tracks.

It was time they talked, face to face.

Cansas threw open the back door of her truck and climbed up onto the step guard, flipping up the bench seat, showing off the arsenal that lay there. She grabbed her old, blood-dipped stake she didn't get to use on Loki out from the back and grabbed a few normal ones she had laying around. Cansas handed them to Bobby.

"Are you gonna tell me what happened or do I have to ask?" She sighed deeply, grabbing out the jar of William's blood she'd stored in here. It had been horrible getting it, but she needed one of Loki's victim's blood and he had been the only one close enough at the time.

"If it'll let me talk about what happened," Cansas said, feeling her heart lodge itself in her throat.

Distract myself, distract myself. Place the jar on the floor, shut the bench--

"Try." Bobby was not in the mood for Cansas to tiptoe around the conversation. She hopped down onto the ground, grabbed the jar of blood, and shut the door.

"I just--I got cocky. He got the drop on me. Vanished into thin air." She looked up to Bobby and found him looking at her narrowly. He could see right through her. What good was sending her to acting camp if she couldn't even use what she learned on the guy?

"Did he hurt you..like--hurt you, hurt you?"

"What? No! He's a monster but not that kinda monster."

"Then what aren't you tellin' me, Cansas? And why do you talk about him like you know the guy?" Cansas paused. She didn't know him. She just...was forced to hang around him here and there. Enough that she could pick up certain vibes on the god.

"I--I'm embarrassed, Bobby. I couldn't kill him and now--now more people are dead because of me." The truth. Stay in the lines of truth. No need to tell Bobby she hesitated because his eyes are a familiar, butterscotch color that dug into the depths of her brain. "I wasn't good enough and now they're dead." Bobby sighed softly.

"Sunflower," Cansas hadn't heard that nickname in ages. A nickname that came from the state she was named after, Kansas: the sunflower state. A nickname Bobby gave her weeks after he took her in. "Come here." He opened his arms, seeming unsure of himself. She was unsure of herself.

Cansas was still hurt by what he said. Still so fucking hurt, but she missed him. No matter what she told herself, she missed the man who was the only father she had ever known. The man who had raised her when he should have killed her on the spot.

Cansas fell into him and he wrapped her up in his warm, safe arms. "You can't save everyone. You gotta remember that." Cansas nodded, holding him back just as tight. "Honey...I'm sorry for what I said." She was quiet for a long moment. Was she sorry? Did she forgive him?

"I'm sorry for what I said but..." She said, letting her voice slowly fade out. Bobby sighed deeply, pulling away enough to look her in her eyes. 

"I know...I know, sunflower. We'll talk about this more later, okay?" Cansas gave a smile that hardly even reached her lips to make it. She was so hurt...so tired. She wanted to just forgive him. Wanted to let the whole thing go, but she couldn't. Not now and not for a while.