Bubblegum and Blood Roses ● Supernatural FanFic {𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝}

Chapter 21: 𝕌𝕟𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝔽𝕒𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕪 ℝ𝕖𝕦𝕟𝕚𝕠𝕟

"What were you thinking?" Loki hissed once they were a good enough ways away from any prying ears. Cansas yanked her hand from his own and stared narrowly up at him.

"What were you thinking, trying to keep information I need away from me?" She hissed right back.

"Because he is not someone you want to be in debt to." Cansas rolled her eyes.

"He made those gods stand guard all night because they owed him. Doesn't sound horrible to me."

"They are gods who are supposed to be guarding Olympius. It's disrespect in its highest form to make them stand guard at some piss-poor nightclub on earth."

"I don't care about being disrespected. A fact you seem to abuse every. Single. Day." Loki laughed, turning away from her to look out over the railing and down to the dance floor below.

"Whatever." Cansas crossed her arms over her chest with a huff.

"I don't care what it costs me, I'm going to get this thing off. I'm going to figure out what the hell is wrong with me." Loki turned those butterscotch eyes onto her once more.

"There is nothing wrong with you." Cansas refined from rolling her eyes.

"Dionysus seemed to be telling me I'm not human."

"So?" Cansas huffed in annoyance.

"So, if I'm not human, I'm a monster. And if I'm a monster that means--" Cansas felt her throat beginning to close up from the thoughts--facts she had been plaguing herself with since childhood. "It means I need to be hunted down and killed because I've killed people. Innocent people." Loki stood there, almost no emotion on his face. Cansas scoffed, rubbing her right eye as she turned away. "I don't expect you to understand."

"I understand." Cansas rolled her eyes.

"You don't understand shit."

"You're joking? You're trying to make me laugh?" Cansas snapped back to stare up at him narrowly. "I'm just as screwed up as you."

"Now you're making me laugh." Loki came closer, Cansas having to crane her head up to look up at him.

"I know what it's like to go your whole life thinking you're something you're not. I know what it's like to run away from home because you're...you're scared of what might happen if you stay. I know that aching feeling of wishing you could go back home when you know you can't." Cansas tears burned at her eyes as he spilled truths about himself that were the same truths she harbored in her chest. "I can understand that much."

Cansas turned her head away again, going to brush a hand under her eyes to keep Loki from seeing any that might have spilled, but Loki gently took her chin in his hand and turned her face to look upon his. And she didn't fight him. Not as he pulled her closer and not when he ran his thumb under her eyes to wipe her tears for her.

She didn't want to feel anything towards the god. She didn't want to feel that jealousy she had felt back in Dionysus' orgy pit and she didn't want to feel this--this kinship with him. She didn't want to feel comfortable with him or to feel like she'd known him for longer than she had.

Cansas wanted to feel the opposite of all those feelings. She wanted to hate him, to want to kill him.

But when he flashed her a small smile Cansas couldn't feel the will to feel those things.

"I--"

"If it isn't the snake, Loki." A deeper, male voice spoke, cutting Cansas off. Cansas turned to find a one-handed man making his way over to them. He was tall and lean yet rippled with muscles that pressured against the shirt he wore.