"So this isn't gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're going to have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me.." -the notebook
-
I laid in bed, letting the sun and moon come up and down as they pleased not moving from that spot for what felt like weeks. I hadn't heard from Josh in days, and I was too scared to call him and hear his voice or text him and be left on read. I hadn't talked to much of anyone really, Emily would get my work for me and drop it off, but my mother wouldn't really come in more than to check on me and give me meals that I never ate.
Any time I rolled towards the side my mirror was on and caught a glimpse of the mascara I never cleaned off and my hair a matted mess, it tore at my heart even more. I heard a light knock on my door, as my mother stepped in. "Lex?" she asked quietly, I stayed silent and felt her sit on the side of my bed. "Maybe it would be best if we talked this out," she said, resting her hand on my leg. She didn't push it when it first happened, because she knew this is how I had always been, but after this long, she needed to step in. I slowly rolled over to face her, I couldn't keep back the tears as they pooled in my eyes, "oh Lex," she frowned and leaned closer, cupping my cheek in her hand.
"Why won't he talk to me?" I said, closing my eyes, feeling a tear run down my cheek.
"Have you even tried calling him? I was talking to Karen and he isn't any better off than you are," she said, wiping my tears away. I didn't know what hurt me more, knowing he felt the way I did, or not knowing and thinking he was just not talking to me.
"Maybe it's best if you two do the talking.." she said while placing her spare hand on my arm that rested across my chest.
"What is there to say?" I exclaimed while looking at her.
"Well maybe start with an apology.. from both sides'' she replied, "you for not being upfront and him for leaving you." she sighed, and looked at the clock on my bedside table then back to me. "I think he is there alone until 3 when everyone gets back from school, you should go try it out" she gave me a reassuring smile while kissing my forehead and walked out of my room. I let out an exasperated sigh and closed my eyes again, trying to determine whether I should or not and threw the covers off of me while sitting up. I felt the room spin and whatever I had left in my stomach came to the top of my throat; I repeated in my head what I was taught in therapy as a kid to push these anxious feelings down and looked into the mirror in front of me again.
I got into the shower, changed into clean clothes and headed over to see Josh. I was nervous but I knew it had to be done.
I raised my hand to begin knocking when Karen came to the door, "Lex.. how lovely to see you doll" she smiled opening her arms for a hug. Karen had always been like another mom to me growing up because of how close she and my mom were, but I only really hung with Ronnie when we were younger. Her hug was comforting, made me feel like how my mother's did, and I pulled away while softly smiling, "is Josh here?"
She nodded and motioned towards the stairs while letting me come inside more. I thanked her and headed up the stairs, knocking lightly on the door as I saw Josh laying on his bed facing the wall in the dark room he shared with Jake and Sam.
"Mom, I'll be down later" he sighed and turned to face me to which he looked more than taken back once he realized it was me.
"Hi, Josh" I said, walking slowly towards him and sitting on the edge of his bed.
"Lex," he sighed in relief and sat up to face me. We both went to talk at the same time, giggling a little as he said I could go first.
"I'm sorry- I'm sorry I lied about-" I began when Josh stopped me and placed his hand on mine bringing it onto his lap.
"Don't be, if going to college in New York- or wherever makes you happy, I would never want to stand in the way of that." he smiled lightly.
"I know, but I should have just told you before agreeing to go with you first, I hurt you and I didn't mean to" I frowned and moved closer to him.
"I know, Lex. It's okay- and I'm sorry for leaving you" he put his other hand on my cheek and rubbed it lightly with his thumb making me look down and smile.
"I think I owe you a makeup night," Josh chuckled, moving his hand under my chin and bringing my eyes to his.
"Maybe," I smirked as he leaned in and softly kissed me. "I missed you" I sighed as he pulled away.
"I missed you too, darling" he looked me in my eyes, and I could feel the genuine intention in his words.
-
*2 months later*
It was finally the day, the day that we had all been working our lives for; Graduation Day.
"Mom!" I giggled as she kissed my cheek leaving a red mark from her lipstick.
"I'm sorry- I'm just so proud of you!" my mom smiled while blotting away the smudge. I shook my head and smiled while my father and my sister followed behind us.
"Can you believe it, Audrey? Our babies- all grown up!" Karen said walking over to us from her car.
"I know, it was just yesterday they were in diapers!" my mom replied, looking like she was on the verge of tears.
"Mom.." I giggled and shook my head when I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist, "hey gorgeous" I heard Josh say as he kissed me on the cheek.
I turned to face him and pecked his lips, "hi my love."
"Okay, I need letters A-J to come to the left and K-Z to go to the right!" I heard our teacher say as our families walked into the auditorium.
"Let's get this over with shall we?" I giggled taking Josh's hand.
-
"I still can't believe you fell off the stage, Jake" Josh laughs following him out of the store. Karen had sent us to get the last couple things for Josh's grad party tomorrow.
"Shut up, Josh" Jake's face turned a bright shade of red and he just looked down while laughing.
"I mean we didn't practice that a few hundred times- unless that's when you were making out with Ashleigh under the bleachers- or was that Riley?" Josh nudged him before hopping into his car.
"Fuck off, Josh" Jake laughed and got into the backseat.
"Yeah Josh, fuck off" I laughed and looked back at Jake and gave him a smile.
"Hey, no picking sides!" Josh shook his head while driving back to his house.
"Speaking of," Jake began, clearing his throat, "are you still coming with us next week?" he added. I had heard back from a couple colleges, to which I wasn't asked to start that fall,I still hadn't heard from the one in New York, but I wasn't ready to tell them that.
"Uh, yeah as far as I know" I smiled and put my hand onto Josh's.
"Good, I'm gonna need you there to support me against Josh" Jake chucklef.
"Oh, poor baby," Josh laughed, pulling into the driveway. I laughed while getting out and looked over to my house, seeing the mail man had just driven away.
"Hey, I'll catch up with you guys later" I stated, walking towards my house while Josh and Jake continued arguing walking into the house. I walked towards the mailbox, looking inside and seeing the letter I have been waiting the last 6 months for, and walked inside while opening it.
Dear Alexis Morris,
On behalf of Manhattan School of Music, I am happy to congratulate you on your acceptance into our prestigious performing arts program. Our school has one of the most exclusive programs in the country, and we only accept the very best students into this program. We believe you would make a great addition to our school.
Thank you for choosing to apply to our program, we cannot wait to hear from you.
Sincerely,
Marcia Lonstein
YOU ARE READING
Soulmates •Josh Kiszka•
Fanfiction"When we first met light reflected between the two of us launghter bonded our souls oh, what a warm, easy love things were so simple when we didn't know what was in store for us if only i could have lived in the clouds forever with your lighten...
