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Date: November 11th 1907 10:22 p.m
You can say that it has became a schedule to see Yoona every week and drink with her. I still didn't know why she was stressed out and sad. I wanted to ask her what was wrong but I kept backing out because I felt like I was straightforward or I didn't have the right to ask her that.
Every time I met up with her every week I would fall for her even more, even though I knew I shouldn't. I just couldn't control my emotions, it wasn't easy to tell them to stop feeling anything towards her.
Everyday I would tell myself when I see her again I'll decline her request for us to go out for a drink but when the day comes and my eyes met with hers I would drop that thought and go out with her to have a drink immediately.
What made me more confused was that she was friends with Taehyung but she never asked him to have a drink with her, it was like she tried her best to look nice and elegant in front of him but with me she let me see her sad side only.
She was drinking a lot but I let her drink, I didn't stop her. She looked at me suddenly and smiled then said "I like you Taehyung." I never knew that those words would break me into pieces. I didn't even know why it hurt me so badly.
I scoffed and rolled my eyes. I couldn't believe myself. I thought that we would get to know each other better or something but it turned out she never really cared that much about me. She just used me as a distraction from Taehyung. I thought that I had a chance but I didn't. She would never think of me as more than a friend I thought.
One time she would give me a hint that she didn't need me anymore so I would take a step back then the next time she would grab me three steps towards her.
Taehyung told me that she knew that her father and my father hated each other but ignored it because she thought that I was a good person and the both of us had nothing to do with our parents problems.
Just because of my stupid heart I stayed close to her. I was supposed to take a few steps back before I was deep, before I found it hard to take a step back but instead I kept getting closer to her thinking that she might fall for me.
The only person she loved was Taehyung but I was pathetic, I thought to myself being a friend to her was better than nothing so I stayed close to her never thought it would hurt me even more.
I thought she would feel the same way about me but she was always looking somewhere else. I was so jealous of him. I was jealous of the way she was looking at him.
She only cared about Taehyung but when she was stressed out she only asked me to drink with her even when her mind was only thinking about him.
I wanted to tell her how I really felt about her but I kept backing away even though the words were on the tip of my tongue I swallowed them so I wouldn't mess things up.
She only thought about him. I tried being a man and I kept trying to make myself confess but it wasn't as easy as it sounded.
Eveytime I backed away I would regret it later and my confession wasn't heard because I was afraid of losing her even if we were just friends at that time.
"Jungkook." She called my name causing me to snap out of my thoughts that I was drowned in. "I'm glad that you're my friend." She smiled brightly as I noticed how her cheeks were rosy because of the effect of the alcohol.
I patted her head and said half heartedly "You can always count on me."
It hurt me, those words hurt me. I didn't want us just to be friends. I gulped the liquor down my throat ignoring the burning sensation. I poured myself another glass and gulped it down even though my throat was burning. It was like I was punishing myself quietly for loving someone who didn't love me back.
I never thought that I was this pathetic. I hated myself for being so foolish and stupid for wanting someone who I couldn't win over even if I tried.
I was snapped back to reality because I noticed that it was getting late and Yoona was starting to doze off. I got up and like always I held her tightly avoiding her from falling or stumbling.
I took her home, as we were walking home her eyes were wide open but she was quiet. I knew that something was bothering her and I couldn't keep quiet waiting for her to tell me what was wrong because I knew she won't tell me anything.
"Yoona." I called her name for the first time with Miss or any formal title. She looked up at me and stopped walking waiting for me to speak up.
"What's wrong? Why are you stressed out and sad?" I bluntly asked her. She stayed quiet for a bit then answered "I like someone who doesn't like me back and it just hurts me badly."
She thought that I didn't know that it was Taehyung, maybe because she didn't remember that she called me Taehyung without thinking because she was drunk. Even before the incident that happened in the bar like an hour ago it was obvious she had her eyes only on Taehyung.
I knew he loved her but I think he was too shy to confess his feelings towards her. Taehyung was my best friend and I knew what type of person he was.
I know what I'm about to say is selfish but I couldn't help it. I kept praying that Taehyung would never confess to her so I'll have the chance to tell her first.
