I Was A Teenage Abomiation

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Open the sun, panning down to show Luz, Eda, and King standing on a beach along with a shadow with a horribly painted face and y/n's clothes.

Eda: Well, Luz!

Eda elbows her

Eda: Did you ever in your life think you'd see something as breathtaking as this?

She gestures to the corpse of a trash slug that towers over them. It's surrounded by trash and muck. Flies audibly buzz around the corpse.

Luz shakes her head

Luz: I don't like this.

She plugs her nose.

Eda walks to the trash slug

Eda: Yes, it doesn't get much more inspiring than the trash slug. It makes a home, a life from what others have thrown by the wayside.

Eda pulls a rubber chicken from the trash slug's mouth

Eda: Until, blam, it gets blasted by a wave one day and croaks from all the salt. And then we get to sell the stuff it ate.

She pulls out a pickaxe.

Luz: Please don't make me.

King walks away

King: Aw, come on, Luz.

King unfurls a towel

King: It's not every day you get to go to the dump and pick apart a garbage carcass.

Eda: Ah, nuts to you both.

Eda swings the pick at the trash slug.

Luz: So, Eda...

Glass shatters.

Luz: What if we tried some new lessons for my apprenticeship? Like...

Something crashes.

Luz: Read ancient scrolls or mix together potions, or‐

Eda: Ugh. That sounds like a bunch of magic school stuff.

Luz: Wait. Is there a magic school here? Like, winding towers, cute uniforms, dark plots that threaten your life kind of magic school?

Eda: Mm‐hmm. What's worse, they force you to learn magic the "proper" way. But magic isn't proper. It's wild and unpredictable. And that's why it's so beautiful. I didn't finish school, and look at me! Who wouldn't envy where I am right now?

Flies are flying around the pile of trash Eda is currently standing in. Luz's expression falls.

Eda: Uh... Hey, here's a lesson.

Eda drops her pick

Eda: A great witch is resourceful,

She sticks Luz's hand in a puddle of trash slug bile

Eda: like this.

Eda drags Luz's hand back and forth before letting go. Luz continues digging until she pulls something out.

Luz: Oh, hey. Greasy slime ball.

Eda closes Luz's hands around the slime ball

Eda: Use your slime ball wisely, young witch.

She stands and heads back for the trash slug

Eda: Back at it! We'll hit the stink nodes first.

Luz: Actually, if it's okay,

Luz starts backing away

Luz: I think I'll head home and look at pictures of animals that are still... alive. Love you, King.

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