Letters Sent Above To The One I Love // Larry Stylinson

Heart attack

Dear Harry,

I'm sorry I haven't written to you in a while. I've not been busy. I've just been tired. It's now spring and everyone wants to spend time outside, even in the April showers the twins still beg me to come play piggy in the middle. The answers they get is no. It's has been no for a while.

I don't mean to be so harsh, it's just that lately I've been feeling a little down, a little sick. My room has quickly become a safety blanket for me, I spend most of my time cuddled up in bed thinking about anything and everything. Thinking about you.

I don't know what I did, that made you not trust me. Clearly, I wasn't supportive enough or trustworthy but for crying out loud Harry, if you would have just shared even the smallest of your worries then I could of helped and you could still be here.

Did you think that I wouldn't be there for you?

I love you and if you needed me, I would have been there.

I'm really trying to to not miss you as much, but it's difficult. I can't even listen to the radio. I have to drive in silence because now that you're gone, I can't stand dumb love songs (the songs we used to sing together.)

Missing you is all that I think about.

Maybe if I didn't love you the way I do, if we were just friends, then it would be a hell of a lot easier to get over you. But no, it's not easy. It feels like a fucking heart attack. In fact I'm pretty's sure you're giving me a heart attack. Every time some mentions your name, it's like I can't breath. My heart stops beating because you're not here.

I'm trying to be okay and I'm trying to be alright. I know one day I will be, just not now.

I don't deserve to feel like this but right now, I think My heart has stopped forever,

Lou x

P.s I really need you right now