Zoombieverse - Memory 2: The Knife

Part 3: The Princess - Chapter 5

He heard her gasp as she resurrected from her death while sitting silently beside her. The dagger was safely away from her, his body acting as a barrier between her and it.

"Why did you do that?" he asked in a low voice, staring emptily at the air in front of him. His face itched where the tears had dried but he couldn't move to wipe them away. He had cried before her so many times already, to her, for her, and because of her. It wasn't the worst she had seen him.

"I wanted to give you the chance that you need," she answered.

His face tightened as he fought the urge to cry again or lash out at her. "You know that I don't want to do this."

"You almost did," she said plainly.

It wasn't an accusation. He knew from the tone of her voice. She knew what he tried to do. She intended for him to do it. His fists clenched and gripped the sheets around him as he felt anger rising inside him. He stayed silent, partly because he was afraid of what he might say to her and partly because he didn't know what to say.

"You have to do this," she told him. "You'll do this eventually. I'm letting you do it now."

He turned to her and snapped, "Do you have any idea how difficult this is to me? How many times I watched myself kill you in different ways in my dreams? How much I tried to resist that secretive fossil of a god just so I don't have to do this? How I failed and eventually gave up on fighting against him despite absolutely despising this task? How I desperately kept trying to think of a way out of this even if I keep on coming up blank? I even tried running away from you even when I really wanted to hold you but you kept chasing me!"

She sat up and met his anger with her own. "Of course, I know! I know you. I know that you kept on resisting. I know that you agreed eventually. I know that you kept on torturing yourself despite having already agreed to it. I know that you have no choice but to do this eventually. I'm trying to make this easier for you, you big idiot!"

"You're deciding things on your own again! You always forge ahead without telling me anything and I always have to follow you and clean up after you. You never really cared for me! All you care about is yourself!" He looked at her vindictively. "Tell me, did you enjoy getting passed around by my brothers and sisters? I heard that you went through a lot of them."

She slapped him, harder than she did before, and pounded at him as tears poured down her face. "You're an idiot! For someone so smart and clever, you're absolutely stupid! You have no idea how much I had to endure at their hands just so I can get a scrap of power or information. How they treated me like a toy. How much it hurts whenever they use me and what I know against you just so they can watch you squirm. How painful it was when I had to force myself to laugh at you as they did. Just pick up that stupid dagger and get this over with!"

The slap brought him back to his senses and he regretted what he said. He knew that what he said wasn't true and that he was only lashing out at her and saying those out of spite. She never had any intentions of leading him to harm and he always followed her because he wanted to. He knew what to say to hurt her the most. Words were always his greatest weapon against her. He knew that she never cared for the others. She looked at them all in the same way, plain, meaningless, guarded, but she always looked at him differently, always so special, always so meaningful, always baring her soul to him. He knew she was only using them just as they were using her. He'd done the same thing after their parting, attending the parties, entertaining others, and exchanging favors with them for scraps of power and information, all of them part of the game gods play against each other.

He had bitten his lip when she slapped him but he didn't move to wipe the blood that flowed, letting her pummel his chest and face to atone for attacking her with words again. She could have hurt him with words too. She had done so by mistake in the past and it had shattered him. But she had stayed with him and had pulled him out of the darkest part of himself despite how deeply he sank. She'd promised never to do it again afterwards and had never said those words, not even when they parted and not even now. Her punches and slaps hurt, but scratches and bruises heal quickly.

Finally exhausted, she leaned on him and whispered, "Just stop fighting and give up. For both of us. Please."

He wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back to soothe her. "You know I can't do that."

She looked up and glared at him. "You're making this difficult."

"I know. I'm sorry." He leaned down to kiss her forehead.

She pushed away from him. "Stop. Don't. We can't keep doing this."

His heart twinged in pain as he nodded and said, "You're right. Let's stop here."

She grabbed his arm when he got up to leave. "No. You're running away again. You can't keep doing that."

He brusquely shook her hand off him and snapped at her again. "Why! Why are you doing this? Why do you insist on this?"

"Because you have to do this!" she yelled at him. "You have to do this."

"Why do I have to do this?" he yelled back. "You keep saying that I have to do this but you won't tell me why!"

She glared at him. "Stop being so difficult and listen to me!"

"I am listening to you! You're the one who won't speak up!" He glared back at her.

They stayed in this position, each of them not wanting to back down.

"Fine," she finally said after a few minutes. "I'll tell you."