Sucker (ON HOLD/INCOMPLETE)

11: Sudden Desire // Think About You

I got a comment on the last chapter asking that I not have self-harm depicted in this story. The reader was COMPLETELY VALID, as I had mentioned some scars from previous harm on one of the characters. So, I want to clear some things up.

I will never, under any circumstances, write a scene that shows someone self-harming or being sexually violated. As someone with firsthand experiences of both of these things, it would be incredibly triggering for me to even try. There is also data that shows trigger warnings don't work; I still use them, but that doesn't change that they don't work for most people. I might dip my toes into discussing certain things, but never in graphic detail. I believe in making my stories safe for all audiences, which means people with diverse traumatic experiences just as much as it means different age groups. 

I've lived with PTSD since I was 13 years old, and have trauma triggers associated with several behaviors, people, places, and experiences. (For example, I hate trains! I used to become physically paralyzed for about 10 minutes whenever I would see and hear one in person all at once.) It's part of why I identify so strongly with Sang. But it also means I will never intentionally put something in front of your eyes that would be considered a common trigger. (I wouldn't expect everyone to censor trains just because I have a problem with them, and know I'll never be able to censor every possible trigger out there. I will, however, try to avoid the big ones.) I believe events can be perfectly expressed by the emotions associated with them, rather than by graphically describing the event.

At the same time, I recognize the actual series does navigate traumatic events. I realize I can't completely shy away from them, in part because I know and regularly experience flashbacks. So, what I'm going to do is this: I will put a trigger warning at the beginning of any chapter that contains a reference to an event or a description of an event (never graphically detailed.) I promise to keep it as clean as possible, so it is appropriate for all ages and people with any level of trauma around these subjects. I'll try to be as sensitive as possible so I don't cause any harm to you.

(No shame to anyone who chooses to address these topics, but I never will in graphic detail. That's just my personal approach.)

So, just so we're clear: my books are a safe space for everyone. They won't always be happy, but they will never intentionally include something actively harmful. I want everyone to enjoy what I'm presenting. I don't want anyone to cry from trauma or triggers, but crying because I've just wrecked your favorite character totally is welcome! 😘

Cool? Cool! And now on to the show.

Song: "Sudden Desire" by Hayley Williams // "Think About You" by Jojo

TW: allusion to sexual violence (no depiction) and drugging

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Sang

I was running.

The land was desolate, barren. The ground cracked beneath my bare feet, burning me with every step I took. My feet stung as sand entered every crevice, every sore, every cut.

But still, I ran. I couldn't let it catch me.

Whatever it was, anyway.

I stumbled, launching over the edge of a cliff I hadn't known was there. My hands clambered fervently, desperate to catch hold of anything. My hands grasped at a ledge, and I hung there, my breath and muscles laboring.

A hand appeared above me, followed by blond hair framing a model-perfect face and chocolate eyes. "Come here, Sugar. Let me help you."

I loosened my hold on my ledge, reaching one hand up, before pausing. Sharp green eyes behind a set of black frames peered down at me from next to him, hand outstretched. "Come with me, Sang. It'll all be okay."