𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲 𝐊𝐢𝐝𝐬 𝐅𝐅𝐬

|𝚆𝚒𝚏𝚎|| 𝐾𝑖𝑚 𝑆𝑒𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑚𝑖𝑛

I stood on the sill of my window while tears streamed down my face, the gentle breeze messing up my hair, the sunset sky slowly turning dark.

A week before my marriage and I'm here, making up my mind to fucking end it all. "I wish I had never met you", is what he said. A bastard is what describes him now. Playing with my heart and my feelings as if it was one of his toys.

Eyes closed I tried to turn back, but I was desperate, the yellow birds that chirped the same every day, didn't pass by today. Today a fortune teller told me that he was gonna come back to me on my wedding, scrambling to my feet for forgiveness.

I scoffed remembering the words of the fortune teller.

"Fuck you Seungmin. Fuck you and your goddamn fucking ChoonHee. Fuck your happy life and fuck your entire family and may you and your children and your grandchildren along with ChoonHee die miserably and rot in the deathly depths of Hell", I cursed.

I looked down. It seemed like the pointy rocks at the bottom of the shallows were calling me, too desperate to hug me. But I couldn't hug them. I was yanked back in the room, breathing.

Luna, Muse, Sydney and Lavender...... they came. They came to save the day when I don't want to be saved. I wanted to die at this point.

Carrying my 21 years of pain, when I met Seungmin, my miseries went away. But they came back like a boulder and crashed upon my heart, smashing and grounding it into fine pieces.

"You tried to do it again. You tried to do it again when you promised us by your father's name.", Luna said, keeping me close in her embrace. Hurrying footsteps were then heard; Felix, Chan, Changbin and Yeosang rushed in.

"Is she alright?", Chan huffed. Shree nodded.

"Why wouldn't I do....", I huffed. All of them looked at me. I harshly separated myself from her embrace and scanned each and every one of their faces.

"WHY WOULDN'T I DO? ONLY...... ONLY A WEEK BEFORE MARRIAGE AND HE IS SAYING THAT HE REGRETS MEETING ME. WHY WOULDN'T I WANT TO FUCKING END IT ALL WHEN I POURED MY FEELINGS FOR A FUCKING BASTARD! WHAT DID I DO TO ABSOLUTELY GAIN ONLY AND ONLY FUCKING PAIN WHEN I WANTED SOME HAPPINESS IN MY LIFE!!!", I roared, after which I aggressively got hold of a flower vase and threw it across the room shattering it into pieces. I then proceeded to grab the picture frame of me and Seungmin and was about to throw out of the window but Lavender grabbed my hand and tried to stop me. Chan joined in and pulled me back, separating me from the rough picture frame.

"I'LL KILL THAT FUCKING BASTARD! HE DESERVES NOTHING BUT DEATH! I DON'T LOVE HIM ANYMORE! I DON'T FUCKING LOVE HIM ANYMORE!!!", I screamed, then after breaking down to a new set of tears. Chan embraced me safely, bridal carrying to the bed where the other ladies were seated.

I clutched onto his shirt even more, not wanting to let it go. I sobbed loudly in his arms while he sat with me on his lap while caressing my back.

"I don't hate him.... I can't hate him...... I just fucking can't......", I sniffed, everyone gathering around me. "It's too hard......"

"We boys will leave you alone", Chan softly said and placed me on the mattress. "You girls will be able to figure it out better than we boys can"

"We'll wait outside till your plan is figured out.", Felix said and the boys went outside, Changbin softly closing the door.

I then proceeded to hug Luna tightly almost not letting her breathe. I felt sick and used. Sick from always crying and suffering and used by people all the time.

"Why is my fate like this?", I croaked out, no strength left in my body. Muse told the maid to bring me some White tea while Sydney proceeded to untie and loosen my corset. "Why can't I live happily? Why doesn't the world want to see me happy? I just wanna fucking die. I wanna be born somewhere fair, where the world is much bigger and fairer, where I would be loved. Why do I always fight with him? Why??", my grip around her neck loosened little by little, my remaining strength feeling my body.