memories of yesterday | chaennie

14. The Best Laid Plans

It was five when Jennie left the office. She shut down her computer, turned off the lights in her room and stepped out. The humming of the overhead lights gave her a headache, which was why she was glad she didn't have to work in any of the cubes. She remembered taking at least a couple aspirin per day when she first got there and worked in a cramped, grey walled cube. Eventually she got used to it but she aspired to rise in the ranks as soon as possible to get out of that sad, sad area. She worked her ass off the first few years, butting into projects in a way only Jennie Kim could do. She took work from other colleagues to further her career, showed up at the right place at the right time, said all the right things at meetings.

She and Jisoo did things differently. While Jisoo smiled and fluttered her eyes and kissed ass, Jennie mercilessly cut down her peers to get what she wanted. There was no way Jennie was going to deliver some gourmet coffee to her boss just to get a couple of brownie points. She did what she did best.

None of that helped her deal with what she was going to go home to. She was ruthless in negotiations and she couldn't be when dealing with Chaeyoung. It was times like these where she wished she knew how to cater to a person's desire like Jisoo did. She wished she knew how not to put her foot in her mouth around Chaeyoung. It always worked before because Chaeyoung usually didn't even notice if Jennie said something wrong. That's what made them the perfect couple; Jennie would mess up and Chaeyoung would either ignore it or take in in stride. And Jennie hoped that was a quality still present in the Chaeyoung waiting at home.

There wasn't a doubt in her mind that she'd messed up. But there also wasn't a doubt that she'd done the right thing. She knew that she'd created a fine pile of shit to clean up. Yet given the choice of Chaeyoung loving her for real and Chaeyoung fake loving her, she would've done the same thing all over again if she had to. It was going to be a shock to her and she felt a jumble of emotions making her nerves stand on end; excitement, fear, relief to name a few. She knew there was bound to be an initial negative reaction, but she rehearsed her words and she planned for everything Chaeyoung would yell at her.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Chaeyoung might demand.

"I want you to be happy." Jennie said aloud. And she'd explain with a calm voice why she did what she did. The point was, Jennie could tell her slowly, make her promise not to get angry first and then break the news to her. She took a deep breath and ran through her lines.

"Chaeyoung, there's something I want to tell you. Please, please don't get angry at me. When I first saw you at the hospital, when I first found out you didn't remember anything, the only thought in my mind was that I wanted you to be happy. We were really serious. Please, don't get angry, Rosie." She imagined the confused look on Chaeyoung's face. "We were married." Her expression would change to a shocked look. Jennie would get her to sit down in a chair and calmly explain her reasons. She'd tell her in bits and pieces, reassuring her that she loved her all the while. And Chaeyoung would nod, take in the information at her own pace, and ask questions Jennie was prepared to answer.

As Jennie pulled into the parking spot, she faintly recalled a book she'd read and a particular quote from it.

"The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry." Jennie furrowed her eyebrows and wondered why that particular quote popped into her head. She cleared her mind and took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself for the whole scenario. She got out of the car and got into the elevator. The trip up seemed to take forever. She paused outside her door, fumbling with her keys. The thought of seeing Chaeyoung's smiling face made Jennie's heart race and she opened the door, ready to reclaim her wife.

The first thing that she heard were voices and laughter. She thought, for a moment, that Chaeyoung had company. But that didn't make sense. Even before Chaeyoung had been hospitalized, she didn't have too many friends. She mostly hung out in the apartment, usually exhausted after work. Apart from Jisoo and that sleazy good for nothing Jaehyun, she didn't have too many close friends to invite back. Mostly it was because the dancers she hung around with were in town for a few weeks, practiced at their studio for a show in town and then left. None stuck around too long to get attached. So Jennie was rightly confused by the familiar voices coming from the living room. She walked through the entry way, taking off her shoes.