Devils Den

81

I stared into the pit for what seemed like forever, my hand still extended as if Malcolm was still holding on. I only retracted my hand when the soil began to stitch itself back together. I covered my mouth with my hand trying to choke back my sob but was unsuccessful.

I cried loudly, the soil rumbling together covering the sound of my sobs until it didn't. I finally glanced to my left and right seeing Jude and Felix in the same positions they were in before.

Forcing myself to get up, I stumbled to Jude, who seemed easiest to help considering his organs were still inside him and Felix' was laid on the ground.

With his eyes closed and his body still, I lifted Jude's upper half of his body, dragging him towards Felix. My tears stained my face, I told myself I wouldn't let any more fall but I failed once I realized Malcolm is truly gone, Felix will take the longest to heal, Jude is unconscious–his wounds not healing a single bit yet, and I was alone.

Alone staring at the soil in a daze, my face emotionless. Jude and I sat across from Felix–Jude's head in my lap. I couldn't make a fire, I couldn't do anything.

I couldn't even save Malcolm.

I stared at Felix debating if I should gather his organs and set them inside him. Maybe he'd heal faster that way. He hadn't healed an inch. 

Jude was only now starting to heal, new skin growing to cover the hole in his chest.

Lifting Jude's head off my lap–I crawled over to Felix, not having the strength to stand. I gagged as I smelled the blood. His organs, already in a pile when he gathered them himself, however, failed to heal. I swallowed the bile in my throat as I approached him. I gagged again, tears forming in my eyes. I looked away appalled. 

Taking a deep breath away from Felix, I gathered the courage to hastily throw his organs back inside–his blood staining my hands. I backed away quickly–wiping my hands on the soil to remove his blood that mixed with mine. I retreated back to Jude, laying beside him. I stared at his lifeless face–waiting for any sign of him waking up soon.

My head laid on his left shoulder, I moved his arm under me, closing my eyes, pretending we were back at Emrys–laying in our bed sleeping. I ignored the sting in my heart as I remembered the last few months over there, I had spent them with Malcolm and Adrien.

We'd always hang out in their fort, they'd drink– occasionally I would have a sip or two, maybe even a quarter of a bottle– We'd dance, sing, talk, and many other things. The list goes on forever. My breathing became uneven, my heart raced, and tears threatened to spill.

My hands had begun to heal. I could feel the new skin stitching itself together. My hand laid on Jude's chest, near the hole. I could feel the new skin forming on his chest, healing his wounds. 

Screwing my eyes shut, I inhaled deeply. The strong scent of blood was everywhere. I don't know how long we laid there, but when I opened my eyes– the sky was back to its red color. It was as if nothing ever happened. I wish that were the case.

Night had come, I shivered. There was nothing to keep warm, to keep any of us warm. I cuddled into Jude's side hoping to take some of the body heat he was finally emitting.

Jude inhaled loudly making me pull away, his eyes wide full of fear and confusion. He sat up, looking left and right, slightly relaxing when we made eye contact. His confusion came back when his eyes landed on Felix but did not see Malcolm anywhere. "Where is-" He began and I looked away from him, cowering into a ball. I shook my head frantically, my tears beginning to form again. 

"It's okay. It's okay." Jude slowly crawled over to me, wincing. His wounds have not fully healed. He pulled me to his chest as I cried. He comforted me making me cry, even more, I felt guilty, I feel guilty. Jude didn't ask what happened, I know he's curious but he didn't want to upset me even more.

I hugged him tightly, my arms going around his neck. "I missed you." I sniffled, the scent of blood faintly there. His blood dried on his shirt.

"I was with you the entire time, I was just resting." He squeezed me before pulling away slightly, forcing me to look at him.

"I-" I hesitated. "I love you, Jude." I stared intensely into his eyes. He didn't respond back to me, just simply stared. Maybe I heard him wrong seven months ago, maybe he never said 'I love you.'. My heart broke a little, he was still silent. I held back my tears and backed away from the hug.

How foolish of me to think he'd love me back, to think he'd love me at all. How embarrassing.

We sat silently for a few hours. I had laid back down, away from Jude. I looked at Felix, his skin was finally patched over his stomach but he hasn't woken up yet. My tears have dried out, Jude still hasn't said a word to me after my confession. 

Felix gasping for air and throwing up blood caught my attention. I ran to his side rubbing his back for support. Felix sighed in relief realizing he didn't need to puke anymore.

"You okay?" I asked concerningly.

"I'm fine." He wiped the blood that ran down his chin with the back of his hand. "Malcolm?" he looked around before looking at me. I shook my head and brought it down in shame, tears threatening to fall again. "How?" His voice shook as he spoke.

"His mom threw him in the pit. I-I had him, he forced me to let go. I didn't want to, please, believe me, I didn't w-want to." I sobbed while explaining. Felix brought me into a hug, fighting his own tears too.

"It's okay, I believe you." He hugged me tighter. "I believe you." He pulled me apart from the hug, sitting me beside him. "That woman is one strong bitch." Felix winced trying to stretch his sore limbs.

I wiped my tears off my face, glancing at Jude to see him looking at me already. I looked away, awkwardly.

"Are you guys ready?" Felix started to stand, stumbling over. I stood up quickly grabbing his arm to support him.

"I think you should rest some more. You're still healing." I insisted. Felix shook his head, his eyes watering.

"We have to go." Felix shook my hand off his arm. "We have to go before one of you guys gets taken too."

"Felix, I understand bu–" I started calmly.

"No! You don't understand!" He turned to me angrily, shouting. "I've known Ren, Nathaniel, and Malcolm longer than you! You have no idea what I'm feeling!"

"I'm sure you're hurting but so am I! I let him go! He forced me to!" My lip quivered. He said it was okay but here he was shouting at me. I know he's angry but the more he yells at me the more I feel like I am to blame.

"It doesn't matter, let's just go." Jude sided with Felix, walking off, Felix and I walking behind him slowly and silently.

Right as we began walking off, the ground shook again causing me and Felix to grab onto each other for stability. Trees began to grow from the ground, I watched as a small tree emerged from the ground, growing into a large oak tree. We were now surrounded by forest. The floor continued to shake, no more open field to be seen.

The floor stopped shaking, the tree branches shook with the wind. Leaves, falling down onto us.

"What just happened?" Felix and I let go of each other.

Jude held onto a tree, scowling at no one specifically, "This makes it harder for us to reach our destination."