A Perfectly Imperfect Love

Chapter Four; Love.

- 800 Days Later -

Love. Everybody is capable of love, aren't they? Everybody should be capable of love. It's something that comes naturally to people. Except me. My whole life I have found myself incapable of falling into love with somebody. Ever since I was a child. I never really connected with anyone. Not the way I should have. In my defence, I was never really taught to love. Mum and Dad were married, yes, but they weren't in love. They didn't have a loving marriage. Maybe that's the reason I am the way I am. Maybe. It is something I truly, deeply struggle with.

Constantly my head is flooded with a storm of dark dark thoughts. Questions of why I cannot love. Why I am continually surrounded by people in love. Being so distant, so different that I know I will never, I could never be as happy and lucky as them. Lost, lonely, cold. Without a single ray of hope. Hope that I will someday find a person that can fulfil me. Answer all my questions. Rid me of all my dark thoughts. I used to have that hope. But when Lexi met her 'soulmate' she had very little time for me anymore. And after a few weeks, we didn't really spend any time together. She left me. She left me with nobody in this world. She left me colder than ever. Lonelier than ever. Until the universe crossed our paths.

28/06/2019. That was the date. The exact date. Of the best day of my life. The moment our eyes met, was the moment I knew. I knew you were the one. My one. In that moment every bit of hope I once had was restored. Except ten times stronger now. I can just remember the energy surging through my body. Energy like I've never felt before. The feeling was electric. My body was already overwhelmed with the immense euphoria I felt. The pure bliss of just seeing the love of my life for the first time across the busy streets of New York.

But then you smiled at me. Your gorgeous warm smile was just performed in front of me for the first time and I loved it. It was as if two stars had just collided. Collided in my heart. There is no other way of describing it. Our love is astronomical. I have always been the shyest person in the room when it comes to complete strangers. Always. But in that single moment, I had the courage of a lion. I don't know why or how but it was there. Deep in my gut. The feeling, the necessity to set off and talk to you. To ask you out.

So, I darted across the street. The speed in my step was driven. Inexplicably driven. The very second my lips parted words fluently rolled off my tongue. Before I could even process what I was saying the words made their way out of my mouth and into your ears. Although I didn't have to say many words before you responded with a simple "yes". I never thought such a mediocre sentence would give me so much relief and pleasure. But it did. You did.

That's how it started. Our love story. My love story. Who would have thought? I could actually love someone, someone could actually love me. And when you came, when it came, it took me by surprise and hit me like a ton of bricks. Because I've never felt love before and our love was strong. I didn't have much experience with love but I knew, it wasn't usually this powerful. And I also knew that this type of love only comes around once in a lifetime, so I had to fight hard to keep it going. Audrey Shadel and Hugh Evans, together forever.