MESSIAH

Killing

Chapter 19

I don't know if the shaking of my body is caused by Nathan trying to wake me up or if my shaking is why he is screaming my name and trying to wake me in the first place. The sweat covering my neck makes me think the latter must be right. Although I hear him clearly, I can't get myself to open my eyes or say anything.

My teeths clatter together and my arms are wrapped around me stiffly. My legs feel numb from the constant agitation and I just want everything to stop. My body is burning up and I think it will all explode. I take heavy breaths, but I still don't think of my lungs as nourished.

I suddenly feel a wave of ice cold water pour onto me. I feel like I'm drowing. I gasp for air. I unclench my arms from my body and sit up. Too fast at that, I feel the blood rush make me dizzy.

"Sam. Sam, can you hear me?" Nathan's voice echoes. His hand brushes against my arm. I open my eyes and I hear him sigh.

"God, I didn't know what to do. I thought I lost you for a second."

Oddly, I am not blinded by lights. Everything is dark. I'm in the corner of a tunnel that looks like the cleanest possible part of a sewer. A couple of orange lights let me see the puddle of water in front of me and the empty water bottle beside it. I feel my wet clothes cling onto me. Even then, Nathan sits beside me and pulls me in his side. I quickly make myself comfortable.

"What happened?" I ask him, my voice still hoarse.

"After we left Abud's, we took the alley like he told us to. When you saw the blood splattered on the window, you started breathing really quickly and I think you had a panic attack. I had to hide us somewhere."

My breaths pick up pace when I bring back the image of his office window. Nathan quickly realizes this and brings up another topic.

"At least, it doesn't smell that bad here."

"We're in a sewer, right?"

"You guessed or are you remembering?"

"I figured it out.  I forgot all of this or was I already passed out?"

"No, you must have forgotten. It must of been a bad one. I got you to fall asleep when we got here, but the anxiety is even worse in your sleep when you have nightmares. Your own subconscious is torturing you and not the outside world."

He lays his head on my own his arm still wrapped around my waist.

I decide it is safer for me to open my eyes, but images of my nightmare still come back to me.

"Nathan, take my mind off things. Please," I say so quickly I wonder if he even understood.

"You know, you fell off the ladder when coming down and you got covered in shit."

"Oh my, God," I say breaking away from his hold. I look at him and then at my body.

"How come I don't smell like it?" I ask sniffing at my clean shirt. "And why are you so okay to sit beside me?"

"Darren dropped a supply bag in the forest. Extra clothes, soap and water."

I get a little self-conscious wondering how he cleaned me and I think he notices.

"I didn't strip you of everything. Just your shirt and p-pants," he jumbles up his words and starts rambling. "I, well I just soaped you and washed it away. I just really cleaned you hair cause it was really greasy. Not that it was ugly or disgusting or, God, I think I'm having a panic attack."

I just full out laugh at him. "Thanks for getting my mind off things," I manage to say between laughs.

He chuckles too, "Glad my discomfort amuses you."