you matter, sincerely me

chapter three

Connors Pov

On the drive home it was raining, but it was a nice rain, a peaceful cleansing rain. Of course any

 ounce of happiness was shredded once I walked into the front door of my house. 

"Where have you been?" asked Larry. I sighed calmly. 

"At a friends house." I said quietly, trying not to start an argument. 

"You don't have friends." mumbled my sister, who to be honest I didn't even see her sitting on

 the couch on her computer. 

"Shut up!" I snapped back... so much for not starting a argument. 

"Hey young man be nice to your sister." Larry replied. I scanned the room for my mom, who was

 no where to be seen. Great the only one who ever was on my side (even if it was to a annoying

 point sometimes) wasn't home. She was probably at yoga or a paint and sip or something. 

"I don't have to do shit for her." I mumbled trying to pass the two.

"Fuck you!" Zoe said louder. Without thinking I turned around quickly. 

"Fuck you!" I said through my teeth. "Leave me alone! I was out it doesn't matter none of you

 ever care anyway!" I yelled at the two of them.  With that Cynthia came in from the other room.

 So apparently she was here, just needed someone to yell loud enough to get her attention.

"Connor dear, maybe try those breathing techniques I taught you." she said walking near me. 

"No." I said pushing her aside. Mind you it wasn't a full on push, it was more of a brushing her

 aside so I could get past her. 

"Don't push your mother, you could have seriously hurt her!" Larry yelled. 

I continued walking to my room before I dramatically slammed my door and locked it. 

Leave it to my family to mess up the first decent day i've had in probably years. Honestly

 probably since I could remember. I slumped against my door burying my head in my knee's and

 my hands in my hair. For awhile Larry bang on the door and yelled, but he stopped after

 realizing it was pointless. Cynthia tried to talk to me through the door, but I wasn't paying

 attention to whatever new age crap she had to say. I could hear Larry and Cynthia talking in the

 hall, Cynthia was saying maybe I should go to another fancy rehab center since I was getting

 "worse", and Larry was saying it would be a waste of money and that they should spend it on

 something else for the house or donate it to an actually troubled teen. He never believed

 anything I said, he always said I was just looking for attention. But I wasn't I just- I just he'd get

 off my case. I wish my mom cared less. I wish for once someone would treat me normal. Well I

 guess y/n treated me normal, that was nice. But soon enough she'll be like everyone else and

 think i'm psychotic. Sooner or later everyone did. Soon enough i'd feel alone again, just like I

 always did. The cycle would repeat itself, I'd be alone, I wouldn't matter. I never do. 

I considered just getting high again, I thought about it. I eventually decided on one cigarette

 then I picked up my phone to see if I got any texts from y/n. The screen was blank, of course it

 was. Why would she care? Why did I want for her to care? I hated this so much, I hated the

 feeling of hope. I used to have hope a long time ago but it was shattered and I tended to be

 more of a pessimist now. But for some reason a little light of hope came back. Maybe I should

 say something first I thought. What to say?

Connor: Uh Hi, thanks for tonight y/n.

Great, I don't know how to sound normal.

y/n: Of course! we should definitely do it again some time! 

Maybe it wasn't so bad.

Connor: 👍

Maybe this time someone did actually care, Maybe this time it will last. Maybe I'm not alone.

 Sometimes a maybe can turn into hope, and sometimes hope is all we can do. 


-------------------------------------------------------------
Okay sorry this one's really short, it's only 707 words but I tried and I think the next bit should be a different chapter.