Curse

Lie

Tell me pretty lies, look me in my face

I have never been one for over the top scenes, I always wanted to do things quickly. I always wanted be a lawyer, living in a big nice house with the love of my live. 2 kids maybe 3. But as I look at the marks on body I don't think I'll make it to my 18th birthday.

 I was okay with that, Issac asked me if I really wanted to die, I was. 

 I was okay with it, but as I look at Lydia smiling with Allison trying to act normal. I see a scared girl who needs her best friend alive. I look over to Scott and Stiles, and I see two boys has no idea what to do, or what is going on. Or maybe I'm using them to make myself want to live. I don't want to live, but I don't want to die. 







"So, she's okay. The marks on her is nothing?" Bash asked Scott for the tenth time
"Yeah, she is okay." Scott answer
"Did she tell you that, or do you know that?" Bash said back
"She tell us" Lydia said 
"Maybe she's lying." Bash said pointing at me 
"She is right here." I said rising my hand 
"She wouldn't lie to me." Lydia said rising her voice

Again Lyds, I'm sorry

"See, I'm fine" I said walking over to Bash

Some days I wonder 'why did my mother try and kill me' I never found an answer to that. 

Scott and friends left me out of a lot. So, I spend the day with Aunt Jemma. 

We went to the movies. Than we went home

"Oka. Tell me the truth are you going to be okay?" Aunt Jemma asked me 
"Yeah. Of course." Her face gave away 'i believe you' look "I'm fine. I'm okay. I'll live" I said taking a grape from her plate and eating it 

It been 3 days since a answer any calls from anyone. I spend my time with my dad and Aunt. It's nice being calm and being normal for once

When you wake up in the morning do you wish to go back to sleep, or wish to never get up again? I wish for better. Everything has been failing. Myself-failing. I fail everyone. My dad, my friends, my boyfriend, and even myself. I dream when I can't sleep. I dream even when I can't walk, when do my dreaming end? Or do it even ends?

When you are falling in your dreams.... what do you do? Let yourself? Or do you try and catch yourself? I do nothing. I just lat myself look down. I am not afraid of falling. I'm not afraid of a lot of things. This year I found out I'm not afraid of even dying. I'm afraid of being around people. When you open yourself up to people you have to be ready for them to let me down. I dead. i dead the other day, I thought i was a goner, but I heard Lydia voice telling me to come back. I wasn't scared or afraid of hearing her voice or being dead. I was afraid of not wanting to come back.

Because I didn't. I didn't want to come back. I wanted to stay there. there the sun  never came out, when the stars dances above your head. Never ending starlight party. I never wanted to leave, but I heard Lydia. Her voice sounded so sad, and I knew I couldn't let her. I needed her, just as much as she needed me. I couldn't let her. 

We walked back to the car. Me and Lydia. Everyone else was still in the cabin. 

"I love you" Lydia said as soon as we got into her car."
"I know Lyds. And I love you too" I said grabbing her hands kissing her knuckles