Behind Closed Doors

XXVI

Beyoncé Giselle Knowles

I watched Onika make my plate for me and I sighed watching her. She was a beauty even when she did simple things.

I heard in the background arguing. "Shut the fuck up nigga I did not crash your dads car—well—it was once!" Robyn yelled at Michelle.

"Yeah, okay. Someone get megamind her meds." Michelle said and Robyn picked up a loaded potato and I could tell she was about to hurl it out Michelle.

Onika cut in. "Do not throw the food I slaved in this kitchen to make Robyn Rihanna Fenty." Robyn slowly put it down. "Your lucky your forehead ain't covered in loaded potato right now." She said to Michelle.

"All y'all niggas do is argue—crashing peoples cars and what not. Ever heard of peace and love?" Robert said and I heard his older sister, Tyra.

"You crashed daddy's car when we were younger." She said and he stood up quickly. "It was one time! I was 15! Cut me some slack I'm visually impaired!" He said pointing to his glasses.

"Robert and I twins for real." Robyn claimed. I shook my head at their conversation before Onika set my plate down infront of me. I gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you honey."

Onika and I headed to bed after dinner. The calming feeling of her on top of me as we fell asleep, my arm wrapped around her waist with her face burried in the crook of my neck—I couldn't ask for anything better.

This was it.

This was my dream. All I've ever wanted.

The girl of my dreams snuggled on top of me, all of my family and friends well and safe,not to mention it's almost Christmas.

That position was interrupted when she suddenly sat up looking down at me. I moved my hands to her waist again. "Are you okay?" I heard her ask softly. "You've been tense this whole trip and—I just wanna make sure you're okay." She said playing with the zipper of my onesie. I smiled at how worried she was.

"I'm fine." I said truthfully. I really was. There was no doubt in my mind right now that I was. "What do I have to be upset about?" I asked with a smile and she looked away for a second before looking down at me. "I'm not sure." She said staring right into my hazel eyes.

She leaned down and I felt her lips brush mine, I moved my right hand to the side of her face as we shared a gentle kiss.

When we pulled away her hair was slighty messed up and I smiled at her. "You don't have your bonnet on." I said and she scoffed before laying back on top of me. "Too tired."She said quietly.

"You gon' be mad when you wake up and it's messy." I said knowing how she was. "Shut up giraffe.." She said sleepily and I let out a genuine laugh. She was so sleepy and I rubbed her back so she went to sleep earlier. "I love you so much Onika." I said softly and I heard her response.

"I love you too."

I stared at the warm light above us listening to her steady and soft breathes. I would give it all just to have every night be like this.

I want every day to end like this. Us, in bed together, her on top of me—us snuggling—getting to say I-love her every night without any doubt in my mind—

I have got to marry her.

I couldn't sleep much that night. I reminisced. The good times, the bad ones—I felt like a turning point was coming and I'm definitely ready for it.

I turned my head slighty and looked at the analog  clock right at our bedside.

"12:01"