L'Arte dell'Amore (Not Edited)

VII

"Why do you keep calling, I get that you are upset about college or whatever, but we don't have time." Her Mama stated with frustration, through the phone.

Lavender was already having a bad night, her heart clenching even further.

"But Mama, I haven't talked to you in a while. Please tell me what is wrong. Can I talk to dad?" Lavenders voice trembled as she continued.

She heard her mother let out a jagged breath before she snapped. "Stop, Lavender. I am done talking to you and I'll call you on my time- which is not right now."

"Mama- please no! I love you so much and I won't call again. I'm sorry." Lavenders sobbing continued even after her mom hung up on her.

Lavender struggled to get air to her lungs. Turning to place her phone down, her sobs were coming in tenfold.

"Stupid, s-stupid, stupid." She reprimanded herself.

Her body shook with the copious amounts of stress. Her rent was due in a couple days, on Tuesday. Lavender's cabinets were empty, and she had classes tomorrow. Snuggling further in the warmth of her blanket, Lavender hugged the small white bunny to her heaving chest.

"It's going to be o-okay." She whispered to herself trying to remember better moments.

Her sobbing wasn't slowed and Lavender took in harsh breaths. She clutched her blanket righty and her thumb succumbed the anxious biting again.

As her thumb became burning with heat from the now torn skin, it gave Lavender something else to focus on. The hangnail at this point was inflamed and the blood was pooling near her nail.

Do it. Focus on the pain. Her mind drifting away from everything else.

Lavender closed her eyes and began to rip the deadly piece of skin around her nail off. The peeling felt like centuries and the blood surfaced to the jagged spot. Continuing the to pick at her other fingers until they provided the same result. She understood it was a terrible habit but the stinging in her finger felt better than the ache in her heart.

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Lavender hated Mondays, but she was happy she was able to sleep. Embarrassed though about how she had found comfort in such an act. She tried to not feel guilty.

Dressing in a sweatshirt two sizes too big and black leggings, sometimes she wished she would try more.

It was good enough.

Brushing her hair out of her face as Lavender went over a mental check list for the day. She made her bed very quickly, picking up her bunny she placed a kiss on his cheek. Lavender mumbled a quick prayer and left for her first lecture of the day.

"Lavender, are you alright? You look tired." Victoria asked as she walked to their shared lecture together.

Lavender simply nodded.

Victoria understood her exhaustion. College was extremely demanding. As they made their way to the classroom Lavender watched her surroundings carefully. Her anxiety was worse today, probably because of her rough night.

After taking a seat, Lavender's heart began to race at an unsafe rate. They were going over the first part of their project with the Professor. Though it seemed to be another man beside him, older than Professor Vincent.

"That's my uncle." Victoria whispered to Lavender. She had figured out that Victoria and Vincent were cousins from Mr. Ripley.