The End Of It All | Akutagawa Ryunosuke x Any! Reader

{Chapter 7}

{Hiya. This chapter deals with alcohol abuse so please be careful if you have triggers with this sort of thing.}

Time ticked on by and a speed of which they knew not. Grasping to the bottle and throwing their head back to feel the warm burning sensation trickle down their throat was the only thing keeping them aware of their surroundings. Back against the kitchen counter, sat on the floor. A washed up sight worse than one could ever see. They had no clue how long they had been there, the only gauge being the amount of empty bottles which lay next to them on the cold floor. Six. Work had called, their story is that they overslept due to illness. A lie. Quite an obvious one at that. 

Thoughts about Dazai had stopped but they were now replaced with regrets for their partner. They had left them in order to drink through the night. Selfish. That about summed it up. Why should they be sat here feeling sorry for themselves when there were so many people who needed them? Demons crept inside of them, invading every crevice and seeping into their mind. Shadows appeared on the walls, shadows of people they had done wrong to. Targets. Countless targets. Old friends. Ryunosuke. Bright lights pierced their eyes, sending shockwaves to their head which made them double over in pure agony. Tears began to run down their face. They were uncontrollable no matter how much Y/N wanted them to be. A Pandora's Box of emotion which had been pent up for the best part of a decade. 

"Selfish."

"Worthless."

"Scum."

A sound at the door. Similar to keys. A click indicated that someone was coming through the door. There was only one other person who had the key and it was the person they least wanted to see them in this state. He came into the kitchen and his eyes landed on the mess sprawled out on the floor. 

"Shit." The only thing which came out of his lips as his face contorted into a mix of disgust and pity. In the years he had known them, never had they been in a worse state. Walking over to them, his heart broke even more as the smell became more and more potent. 

"I'm sorry, Akutagawa." The voice almost broke him completely. It was quiet and seeped in guilt. They knew what they had done and how detrimental it was but he knew that they did it without control. Carefully, as not to startle them, he presented his hand to them. When they declined, he grabbed their wrist and hoisted them up. Soap was urgently required so he led them over to their bathroom. Despite the amount they had consumed, they could walk surprisingly steadily. 

"I don't need your help." They began to hit the man's arm, attempting to release themself from his grip but to no avail. Akutagawa pushed Y/N into the bathroom. Cruel, sure, but it was what they needed. 

"Get in there and have a wash, you absolutely reek." Obediently, they obliged shutting the door on Akutagawa. He waited there until he heard the rush of water. Turning round he saw the bottles strewn around the place where they sat. Sighs of despair left him as he shifted across to the spot and began to pick up the bottles and placing them into the recycling. Being the carer which he now was, he decided to pick some clean clothes out for his partner, trying not to cough on them when his lungs decided to play up again. 

Water soon stopped and the door was opened to reveal Y/N with a towel under their arms, coming down to just above their knees. Unbeknownst to them, their partner was a flustered mess with his cheeks completely flushed red. Not that they could tell, he had his hand over his nose and mouth. Something common enough for Y/N not to notice anything odd. However, it was safe to say that the Akutagawa heart rate record had been broken. His partner walked into their room to get changed, leaving him to regain his composure a little. Once they came out, they stumbled into Akutagawa due to still being absolutely smashed which caused him to lose his composure again, especially when they grabbed onto his dress shirt and looked up at him from under the cravat he wore. Oh god how he wanted to kiss them right there, but he couldn't. Not while they were in this state. 

"Sit down with me." Y/N said to Akutagawa. The latter did not register the words spoken until he was sat on the sofa with his partner cuddling into him. His body was rigid, his mind unable to comprehend what was happening at this moment in time. Words. Yes, he needed to have words with them. He had been rude to them, he needed to apologise. 

"Y/N," the mentioned person raised their head to meet his gaze which only made it harder for him to speak. "I'm sorry. What you're going through, it's hard but... you can't deal with it like this." Why was this so hard for him? He was supporting someone he cared for deeply. Why couldn't he get the words out? "I'll try to be there. I'll be better. I'll-" He was interrupted by a small snore coming from the person which lay on his side. Unconsciously, a small smile spread across Akutagawa's lips as he saw them finally at peace. Carefully as not to wake them, he ran a hand through their hair. So soft to the touch. It fascinated him how delicate and harmless they looked like this despite their line of work. 

It was clear to the raven haired man that he was not going to be able to get off that sofa for a while. He did not mind though. A world which he had desired for a long time had been introduced to him. One where they finally confided in him. Oh how long he had desired for a moment like this. Just the two of them, silent, peaceful. He soon forgot about the dangers which awaited them and drifted off to sleep himself.