Forbidden Love

Exposed to You:

       Apparently I have been in a coma for awhile, the doctor wouldn't let anyone see me until he did the scans needed. He explained things but I didn't listen I just waited for my brain to catch up, fill in the blanks but I only came up with blanks. Eventually my family was allowed to come in. I was instantly bombarded with different emotions. I looked for Noah but he must have slipped out the room while the room was overrun by family.
  When everyone finally left to give me and Zeke some alone time. It felt like the took all the air along with them.
I stared at the covers bunched between my clutching hands.
"Hey", Zeke said before resting on the corner of the bed.
"Hey", I whispered back.
     I scooted on the hospital bed so he could lay down besides me like we did when were younger. Before everything got complicated; referring to hormones. He laid down besides me and we just laid there rethinking our lives. Wondering when did our love go wrong. Where did we make our first mistake and how come we never noticed ourselves drifting apart.
"Everything was nice you know before you came along", I whispered to the ceiling.
"What did I do mess things up?",he asked.
"Everything was so simple. Just eat, hangout with Jess, and then sleep. And the next day repeat the process", I explained.
"Sounds boring", he mumbled under his breath.
I shrugged not really caring how boring not might have seem to him.
" But it was simple. No twists or turns. Just two girl hanging out and being kids. Then you went and changed all that. Jess became Jessica because it was more sophisticated. Jess wanted to kiss you and I liked you more than a friend. It went on for years then we were together. Then life found a new routine. I would love you and you love me. No twist or turns. Then the letters and we broke up".
"You broke up with me. I never agreed to it".
     I shrugged again not really caring how we broke up. All mi know as that we we're just no longer together.
"Well we were not together anymore. The suddenly we were together again. Then he showed up".
"Noah. He showed up suddenly twists and turns came in the routine", he finished up for me. I nodded not looking at him.
"Dekka came to play also", I added.
"Then suddenly everything changed. Even I felt it when he arrived. It wasn't there at first and next it just was", he continued,"I could feel you slipping away from away from me. When you wanted to take yet another break, you spent a lot of time Noah. It tore me up inside wondering y'all were doing. Where he was touching you", he breathed roughly though his nose.
    I reached over and squeeze his hand to reassure him.
"We never did anything like that. We almost did but he stopped he was thinking of his little brother, you, and how you would feel. So we agreed to never speak again or hangout alone. So I left and then ........", a single tear rolled down my face,"then t--hey did tttthhhheeyyy di--did things t---tttooo me me", I was sobbing so hard I couldn't end talk.
    Zeke pulled me close and held my quaking body in his arms. He let me sob and punch him but he never let go of me. That's one thing I always loved about Zeke was that he moved with all his heart and never let go.
"I love you", he whispered in my hair.
"I love you too", I said automatically. Saying 'I love you' to Zeke was as simple as breathing. Being with Zeke was like being alone in a comfortable silence with a close friend.
He sighed before pulling away. He wiped my tears away with his thumb and moved my hair from my face. He smiled sadly before whispering ,"Beautiful".
"You love me but your in love with Noah", he stared in my face," you love me like a friend".
I shook my head and opened my mouth to protest. He placed his finger over my lips.
"Shush....I'm trying to make an adult decision", he said quietly,"you love me like a close friend like a best friend. And you love Noah. And he loves you. Noah don't do love or relationships but all those rules were tossed out the window when it came to you. When you went missing Noah just about lost his mind looking for you. Me and Noah often rode around hoping to spot you. He was dedicated to finding you, first I assumed it was because he felt guilty not walking to his car. But I noticed a change in him and I realized he loved you".
"That's not possible. He doesn't even know me".
"He doesn't even know himself but I watched him for the last month or two. When Dekka found your body she and Noah fought to get you to safety. Noah was shot and Dekka was stabbed but they saved you like they said they would".
"Shot.....and stabbed", I gasped. Tears began to flow out of my eyes just when I thought I was all out of tears.
He nodded grimly," Yeah Noah was out for a week. Dekka is still in a cast almost had her neck broken. But they found you. Noah was still in a wheelchair when he began to sit by your bed waiting for you to wake up. Do you know how long you were out?".
I shook my head, while I was in a coma I had no recollection of time. My family didn't tell me how long I was out fearing it would upset me .
"About five weeks. Noah moved from his room basically into yours. He stayed here day and night. He only left for food or to shower. He would stay by your side even when the nurses came in to check up on you. If that isn't love or commitment I don't know what is. He would sit in here holding one hand and I would hold your other. I often found him talking to you or crying by your side begging for you to wake up. Hell even Jessica stopped by leaving you some lilies. Your favorite s she would sit here and go about how many cool parties you were missing. But by the end of her visits she would cry and hold your hand and call you CarCar. Like she did when we were younger".
       By the time he finally took a breath I was crying buckets. Me and Jessica could barely sit in the same room at school. But to here that she visited me in the hospital while I was in a coma. She even remembered my favorite flowers something only  she and Zeke knew.
"I got off topic. But you didn't know that Jessica still cared about you.And I know a secret..... I know that you love Noah back".
     I suddenly froze, I think the heart moniter just recorded my heart rate taking a sudden spike up. I knew that I felt more for Noah. Could it be love that I felt for him? Even when we aren't touching I feel cherished and protected with him. Sometimes I wake up with his name on my lips. It was his voice in my head that kept me from going insane. The voice of Noah ,inside my head, and I would have long conversations while they took pleasure using my body.
"You never thought about it did you?".
I shook my head as more tea slid down my face. I never knew that he felt that way. I thought he just wanted my body. But there was I didn't know that Skylar was sending those letters. I also didn't know that Skylar was in love with me.
       Zeke wiped my face again and handed me a tissue,"Send the bad thoughts away", he said firmly.
"Thanks".
"Thats whats friends are for", he said,"as a friend I'm going to find my brother. So y'all can discuss your feelings for each other". He climbed off the bed and walked out of the room.
"Wait!", I called.
He stopped in the doorway before turning back to me .
"What?".
"Tell Dekka maybe I can join that soccer game too".
He looked confused before turning around and calling over his shouder,"alright".

      When he left I tried to make myself look pretty or at least presentable. My eyes were probably puffy and my skin was probably blotchy. I began to cry again when I realized that I was going to be ugly when he shows up.
"Knock knock".
My head wiped up to see Jessica walk holding her purse. She rushed over pulling me into a bone crushing hug.
"Carrie you look terrible!".
I began to cry even harder when she said this. She held up her hands in surrender. Tossing her purse on the bed she pulled out a hair brush and mascara.
"You brush the bird's nest while I apply this", she directed. We both began to work frantically. She pulled out some lip balm and rubbed some on my chapped lips. Eventually I was able brush through it and she decided I looked presentable. She pulled out a mirror handing me.
"Instead of looking I just came out of a coma I look I just came from running", I smiled at her and she smiled back.
"The man of your dreams is coming into this room and your filing complaints", she joked.
"Thank you, Jessica".
"Your welcome, Carrie", we both heard the knock on the door. She pulled me into a hug before walking out the door.
"You better take care of her boy", she said loudly,"or me and my gang will kick your ass".
"I intend to to", he replied before walking in. The breath I was holding suddenly was let out. Any doubts I ever had just flew out of the window. I knew for certaint that he was my one and only. He closed the door behind him with a soft click. His hair haven't seen a pair of scissors in a while causing it to fall into his eyes. His clothes were wrinkly, like he had slept in them, and his clothes no longer hugged his figure they just hung on him.
"When the last time you eaten?", I asked angrily.
He shrugged,"Yesterday around lunch time".
"Why?!", tears spurted out of my eyes. He walked over to the hospital bed and sat down careful not to touch me.
"Why are you angry?", he asked bewildered.
"Because", I snapped.
"Because... what?", he asked patiently.
"Because what if you died from starvation. What would I do then? Huh?", I asked him as I tried to wipe my tears careful not to smudge the mascara.
"I'm sorry", he said. But the tears refused to stop falling down my cheeks leaving mascara tracks with them.
"I'm sorry I'm ruining your makeup by making you cry. I'm so-------".
I leaned over and pressed my lips gently on his effectively silencing his apology. He placed his hand on my wet cheek as he kissed me back. I pulled away first and stroked his unshaven cheek.
"Let's start over right from a new beginning.", I stuck out my hand,"Hi, I'm Carrie". He staredmat my hand before taking it in his.
"Hi, Carrie. Me lamo-----my name is Noah and fun fact about me is that I'm in love with a amazing girl named Carrie Watson. But I don't know how she fill about me. Can you help me with that".
I smiled as I scratched my chin thoughtfully.
"I know her" I leaned over letting my lips over centimeters over his,"sorry she taken. Her heart belongs to a guy named Noah Ashton".
His eyes brightened before he played disappointed.
"Aww..... Do you think she will allow me to kiss her and let me love her?".
"Only if you say please".
"Carrie Watson can I have your heart and can you take mine for safe keeping? Also can I have a kiss,please".
I nodded before kissing him.
"Yes to the first question". I placed a kiss on his lips.
"Yes to the second". I placed another kiss on his lips.
"And of course to the second", before placing the sweetest kiss on his lips. He erased any bad memory of someone touching my body. He erased any memory of anyone touching or kissing or loving me. It was like he was my first kiss and first one and only true love.