Redemption

19 - Revelations

Chapter 19 - Revelations

Am I going to be sick?

My body doesn't feel like my body in this moment, it's completely still and almost feels likes ice is coursing through my veins. I wouldn't be surprised if I discovered that I was in some sort of autopilot.

I stay glued to my seat, losing any ability to move, even though every cell in my entire being is screaming to walk out. It would be too obvious then, and besides, he hasn't even looked at me yet.

"Well, I'm really glad you were able to make it, Harry. Sad to say you missed the introduction of our newest addition," Russel points at me.

Shit.

I wonder what I look like to him. Does he remember me differently? It's been a year since we have laid our eyes on one another. Will I able to look away? I force my eyes to meet his, otherwise if I didn't everyone in the room would know something was up.

For what feels like a first time, I'm looking at him before he's looking at me. He tilts his chin up slightly when we connect eyes. They're exactly like I remember. They flash with an emotion. Surprise? Fear? I know it isn't happiness. I catch myself wanting to climb inside his head, find all the answers to the questions he left unanswered.

I wave. Pretty pathetically, at that. I don't trust my voice enough to greet him. I'm hoping everyone will count that as me being emotional from my introduction.

He waves back. Almost just as pathetically.

I trail my eyes down to find the 'M' written on his hand, hoping he'll notice.

Hoping he'll understand what I'm saying, hoping he'll remember exactly how I remember the last time I saw him.

He shoves his hand into the pocket of his gray coat, one that appears like it's made out of wool and flows down his silhouette, acting like a shield. It forces me to bring my eyes up to his, but they're on my hands, the ones wrapped around Caleb's.

I look away, making sure to cast my eyes downward.

"Here, let me grab you a chair," Russel grunts as he stands up, scurrying over to an extra chair that he sets up next to Iris.

I hear Harry tell him thank you, feeling the floor shift with his weight as his walks over to sit directly across from me. Him and Iris share a small smile, and I wonder if they know each other. He doesn't smile at most people.

My heartbeat has accelerated so much I'm surprised no one can hear it, maybe even more surprised that it hasn't hopped out of my ribcage.

I can't sit here the rest of the time. I just can't.

But my options are limited. I've never been the best at faking sick, and I can't text Jasmine to call me and act like she's having an emergency. My mind is racing so much I don't even notice what everyone laughs at, but the room erupts in a low laughter. It makes me feel a little dizzy, like this is all one big fever dream that I will wake up from any second.

I look up at Harry, tearing my eyes off the worn-down floor and see that he isn't laughing either. I'm glad we both can't seem to focus on any humor, but then again, Harry has never been the one to laugh easily.

Caleb squeezes my hand again.

Caleb, Caleb, Caleb.

I look over at him as he starts to rub circles on the back of my hand. I release a breath of relief, one that I didn't know I was holding. "You okay?" he whispers, leaning over to press another kiss on the side of my head. I find myself leaning into him even after his lips leave my skin, right on my temple. missing the comfort almost immediately.