Redemption

21 - Right?

Chapter 21 - Right?

Tense doesn't describe the car ride back to my apartment.

Dinner was splendid, the food was amazing, just like it always is at Mancini's. My stomach might burst from being so stuffed. Jasmine did most of the talking, blabbering about the wedding and destinations for the honeymoon. She has about five destinations in mind. Poor Ben's eyes were about to pop out of his head when she started talking about the prices. It gets spendy, the hotels, airplane tickets, checked bags, transportation, it will drain your wallet if you aren't financially stable or have a little help from your parents.

It was nice having her wedding as a conversation topic, one that she struggled to stray from. It kept Caleb and I distracted, unable to really focus on the thoughts that were brewing subconsciously. He kept his hand on my thigh, rubbing it every once in a while. By the end of the night, my legs were draped over his thigh, dangling between his open legs. He didn't seem to mind or back away from my touch, sparking a glimmer of hope in my chest. Perhaps our conversation later will be civil, because I know it's coming.

It's just like weather before a storm. You might not be able to visibly see the destruction coming, but you can feel it in the air, the way the temperature changes and makes the air on your arms stand up.

I caught Caleb's eyes trailing over to the support group's booth every once in a while, his eyes lingering for a couple moments too long and full of ice. I would try to shift the conversation to capture his attention, but it was obvious that his mind was preoccupied, too deep in thought to be fully attentive like he usually is.

I'm grateful Jasmine or Ben hadn't noticed. They've never met Caleb before, so I wouldn't expect them to notice these little things that are so out of character for him.

I can tell Jasmine likes Caleb. She never asked Shawn questions or tried to include him in conversations. I swear, she has a sixth sense for the boys I see. It's like she knows which ones are the rotten apples. But with Caleb, she asks him question after question, sharing memories she has with me. Her stories seemed to relax Caleb, or maybe that was the alcohol.

I want to tell him he has parts of me Harry never had. Never will have. He can feel threatened by him, he can even hate him for all I care, but Harry never sat directly across from my best friend and her fiancée, who happens to be one of my other best friends, sharing stories about our childhoods and bonding over the fact that pineapple will never be good on a pizza.

We said our goodbyes after splitting the check, assuring that we will get together again soon, although I doubt that will happen unless it has something to do with the wedding. The newly engaged couple will be hard to catch in the next two years. I try not to dwell on the thought of losing so much quality time with them, but that's something adults don't tell you about growing up, the way your friends who once shined so brightly in your life start to diminish to a dull glimmer.

I stole one last look at the booth, noticing that all their plates were clean. Jo catches me looking, sending me a wave and pointing to her phone, mouthing, 'Call me'. I nod, seeing that Harry is now looking at me from around the booth, his eyes drifting down to my hand in Caleb's. I look up to Caleb's face, seeing that they're exactly where I anticipated them to be. On Harry.

I have to tug at his arm to get him out of the restaurant.

Since me and Caleb started dating, this is the first night I truly don't want him to come up to my apartment. I'm tired from flipping through Jasmine's wedding binder, keeping a cheery face on the whole time she pointed out every little detail. I never realized having her as a client might be way harder than I anticipated. I'm tired from watching Caleb watch Harry all night. It completely drained me, and if we talked tonight about the situation, I'm not sure the words would leave my mouth in a manner that would fully satisfy him.