Hamilton/Washingdad One-shots

Christmas Special (I can't come up with a name right now.)

I'm Mr Loverman

Alexander plodded down the street, fiddling with the item in his hand as he walked. He was wearing a thin coat over his regular clothing as it was much colder than usual, he suspected it was meant to snow but it just didn't happen yet. He held a bouquet of flowers that he was planning on giving to someone very special to him. Saying he was nervous was an understatement, this was his first time seeing the other for the better part of a year; the two not communicating at all during that time.

He had decided to pay them a visit as he was certainly overworking himself and had been told to take some time off. Of course, Alex had refused the second he was given the offer and had to be forced to take it instead. The original time was a couple months, but he had managed to shorten it down to one. That didn't seem to make it any less depressing for him though.

He arrived at the gate of where the two were to meet and stopped walking. He gripped onto the flowers and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. He knew he could do this, and now was no time to chicken out.

He pushed the gate open with several jerky movements; looking around the area, trying to find the person he was looking for in the sea of bodies. Unable to spot them, he stepped in, attempting to navigate his way through.

After a bit he finally found who he was looking for; John Laurens. For the second time today, he paused, feeling his chest go heavy. He took another deep breath, approaching the other.

"Hi John. Uh, sorry for not... visiting earlier. I had a lot going on." He hid the flowers as he spoke and moved to sit next to the other, placing the flowers on the ground next to him. He glanced over to John, waiting for him to say something, anything. But that didn't happen, so he kept talking, not liking the awkward silence.

"I hope you're doing well; I hope things are going good. Some interesting things happened recently." He fiddled with his hands as he talked, as a bit of a distraction. "I was forced to go on leave for a bit, so I'll be able to talk to you a lot more than I was before. Uhm, my family went to my father-in-law's for Christmas, and I foolishly chose my work over them." He scoffed at himself and let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair.

"Clearly that didn't work out. Uh," He shook his head a bit, trying to figure out what to say. "I don't know how to continue and not sound like a narcissistic bastard but, that's just how it is because you can't really respond... God, I wish you could respond."

Alex hung his head and closed his eyes, clasping his hands together as he felt tears start to swell in his eyes. In that moment, he would not allow himself to cry, didn't matter how much he wanted to. So, he did that in a failed attempt to calm himself down.

He glanced back to the flowers to his side, letting out a breath and picked them up. "I... got you something. I don't think you'd like it; you were never a flower person but, I got them for you anyway, cause frankly, I wasn't sure what else I could get." He adjusted his body a bit so he could place them down in front of the gravestone.

He didn't say anything after, he only let his thoughts run wild, not doing anything to stop it and not voicing any of them. He only had a pained expression painted across his face.

And I miss my lover man

He let out a bit of a chuckle, tears welling up once more. "M- Merry Christ-mas!" His tears started to run down his face, and he quickly wiped them with his sleeve, only for them to be replaced with even more. Despite this, he kept talking.

"I wish you- you were here... Why can't you be here-? Why did you have to go?" His voice broke throughout, and he no longer cared about wiping away his tears as he let them run freely down his face. All the grief he had kept bottled up since John died was finally allowed to spill out, cracking like a dam that was seconds from bursting.

He let out a few chocked sobs, covering his mouth as to not be heard by the few people around. He kept doing this for a while, attempting to calm himself down on multiple occasions, never once succeeding.

He looked back to the gravestone, more tears spilling and said one more thing, something that they said commonly to each other while the other was alive, but it seemed to mean so much more now that he was gone. He stood and turned around putting his sleeve to his face and wiped away the tears as he walked away, knowing he wouldn't be able to handle being there for any longer.

"I love you..."     

Damn, that was so much harder to write than I thought it would be considering a cried throughout it.

Anyway, although this is a bit late,  Merry Christmas! And if you don't celebrate Christmas, Happy day!