Hamilton/Washingdad One-shots

"You can't get rid of me that easily."

TW: CHARACTER DEATH, MENTIONS OF WAR

Alexander and John were currently slow dancing to a fast-paced song in Alex's house. Their reason for this being that John wanted to slow dance, while Alex would've preferred to dance to a fast-paced song, which led to the current situation. John had one of his hands on the others hips, while the other held his hand. Alex had his only free hand on John's shoulder

This would've been the last moment the two interacted with each other for a couple weeks, as John had to be off to South Carolina due to the war. They decided to make their last moments with each other last, starting form early yesterday, to late today.

John and Alex stared into each other's eyes, both smiling at each other. They had been silent for a while, -Two minutes- and eventually one of them had decided to break the ongoing silence. Saying something that should've dropped the mood. "I swear if you don't make it out of this- "He started, his smile slowly going away. Though, before he could finish, he found himself being shushed by John. "Shh, sh." He removed one of his hands, (the one on Alex's waist), putting up a finger and putting it against Alex's lips.

"The more you say it, the more likely it is to happen. So, by that logic... I'm gonna make it out of this, we both are, and everything'll be fine afterwards. Win or lose." He removed his finger from his lips, moving to place it on Alex's cheek.

He leaned into the touch, placing his hands over John's. He opened his mouth to say something, pausing a bit before any words could make their way out of his mouth. "Win. We're going to win." John only nodded in agreement, not actually believing they had any chance of doing so, but even with that knowledge, he was willing to fight to the end on the line.

Alex thought completely different to the man in front of him. He thought, no, he knew they were going to win, but he too, was willing to fight 'till the war was over, hoping it would end in their victory.

"Either way," John began, looking at Alex with a small smile, not as big as the one from before, but it was something. "You can't get rid of me that easily." It was now Alex's turn to smile, "To be fair..." he looked down, pausing a bit before he continued. "I wouldn't want you gone anyway."

"Good." With that John bent down a little bit, pressing his lips against the other for a soft kiss. Alex smiled into the kiss, savoring the last moments he might've had with him.

-

The more he stared at it, that he found himself believing it. That he was dead. Alex would've accepted it sooner, but he found himself knee deep in grief and elected to ignore the problem rather than deal with it, which resulted of many months of distractions and self-given problems, anything that could turn his attention away form the death of his lover.

Tears started flowing down his cheeks like a dam that just burst, the tears going down at a fast pace, eventually dripping off his face and hitting the ground, He still hadn't let a sound come out of his mouth since he arrived and wouldn't let anything come out until he knew what to say. It wasn't like Hamilton to be speechless, but this time it was seen as necessary. It was his way of showing his respect.

He finally deemed it time to say something, he had been standing there for the better part of an hour not saying anything. He let out a bit of a sigh, choosing his words carefully, recalling one of their last meetings before he had gone.

"I-I though-t-" He began to choke up and decided to stop, taking deep breaths in an attempt to even out his speech and remove most of the breaking his voice was experiencing. It would also help temporarily stop the tears form flowing. After a while, he eventually stopped, trusting his voice enough to continue, even if it was basically the same minus a few choke ups.

"I though you said I could- couldn't get rid of you-?" His voice broke at the end, and he put his hand over his mouth, closing his eyes in the process, which allowed any tears that welled up during the beginning, to run, even if it wasn't many. "But now you're gone and..."

He shook his head while trying to fine the right words. "And even though it isn't my fault- I feel like it is?" Hamilton used his hand to gesture to himself, and tilted his head a bit to the side, finding himself confused with his own emotions while he tried to express them. "I-I- I don't- I don't know how, but I feel like this is because of me. That I am to blame for this?"

He looked up and blinked away some tears, letting both his hands fall to the side as he subconsciously clenched his fists. "You are such an amazing person... You didn't deserve a death like this. You didn't deserve it. You didn't deserve any of it. You didn't deserve it." And just like that, there he was, repeating this phrase over and over like a mad man.

Overtime his words become more and more unintelligible, eventually turning into nothing more than chocked sobs. He no longer tried to hold back his tears, letting them run freely down his face, wiping them with his sleeve every now and again. He looked like a lost child; unable to find their mother so they cry, not knowing what else to do.

There was barely anyone around, no one to see the tears streaming down his face, no one to see the pain he was in, nobody to help him. In that moment, he felt alone, even if there were other people in his life waiting for him; it was as if they didn't exist. It was just him and John. The only two people that he could register. It was always that way when the two were together, he would feel as though they were the only two people left on earth. Usually, he would be content with that but considering the current situation... He wanted nothing more than to be around the few people he loved that he had left.

-Ending One Unlocked-

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