DOUBLE UPDATE YASSS
100th COMMENTER GETS DEDICATION
THIS CLOCK WOMT STOP TICKING,IT FEELS LIKE THERES A BOMB IN MY ROOM
This is probably crap
*nonedited
[Warnings;Suicidal thoughts and self harm actions/thoughts]
Enjoy :)
20 minutes
That's how long Louis spent just standing in the shower,under the running boiling hot water or the shower head,his hands up against the wall of the shower as he rested his forehead on the cold wall.He was trying his best to stall coming out of the bathroom and having to face sane and calm Liam,he didn't want to interact with sane and calm Liam,hell he didn't want to interact with any type of Liam never mind Sane and calm.Sane and Calm was always the one that scared Louis the most,you never knew when he could suddenly change back into his usual mad mood which would end up with Louis injured once again.This type of Liam was way too unfamiliar to Louis that it was scary,he was beginning to forget what Liams actual personality was and that wasn't natural,he shouldn't be forgetting,he should know and be use to it.
Liam use to be so sweet and considerate when Louis first met him,he was so shy whenever he talked and would never think of talking over anyone,Louis especially.Louis was such a ball of Sass when he first bumped into Liam in the reject column in X-factor,after they were just old that they didn't make it as Solo acts,his first words to Liam was actually 'Why is there a cat sitting on your head?'.When they were placed in the band it took Liam the longest to open up to everyone,he wasn't as flamboyant as Louis was who just seemed to talk forever and ever and big the life out of Liam,making the boys life a living hell which caused the fans to start to ship 'Lilo Paynlinson'.
Then it happened
"Louis,baby?You okay in there?"Liam asked in the soft caring voice of his that made Louis cringe and push away from the wall so he could soak his hair one More time.He ran his fingers through his own hair,the boiling hot water steaming up the bathroom making it hard for Louos to see around him without his contacts in.Don't get Louis wrong,he loved Liams voice,his old voice that is,that normal tone that all the fans heard in all of their interviews and concerts,not the voice that Louis heard bedded they weren't Liams really tone.
"I'm fine..."Louis croaked out,not making any move to get out of the shower as he ran his hands over his face to make sure that he had no blood left over on his face.His nose had stopped bleeding long ago,his eye was in Crucial pain and he felt so light headed from all of the hits he received in the face.He let his eyes look up and down his body from a birds eye view,he felt disgusted as to what he saw.He was disgusting,his thighs were thick,his hips were big,he had a foul plump ass,his torso was disgusting,he could see his tips,his hips looks like daggers and he was beaten black and blue.He was a mess.He let the love of his life best him up everyday of his life,let him make him feel like utter shit and made him feel like he didn't belong on this earth.
'Why are you still with him?'One side of his head would ask everyday,from the minute Louis woke up to the second he passed out from exhaustion.
Because I love him,is what Louis would always think to himself or quietly mutter under his breath,And he loves me.
'So much that he beats you?' That voice in his head would continue to argue day in and day out
I deserve it,Louis thought letting that deep dark part of himself out of its cage,that voice in his head that he developed during his early childhood when his father walked out the door on him and his mother.The voice grew stronger over the years,started to get louder and more noticeable when he entered High School and his Bulling and Harassment's started to get more extreme and Violent.
'Of course you deserve it,look at you.You can't do anything right' that voice growled;'You're a fuck up,a waste of space,a piece of trash,a-'
"Fuck,no,no,no,not again!"Louis screamed throwing the blade that ended up in his hand across the bathtub as Louis stared down at his bloodied wrist,his blood smearing with the shower water and dripping down his arm and onto the floor below.He watched as the blood dripped and slid across the shower flooring,down the drain.He felt nod familiar burn on his wrist as he counted how many cuts he had caused during his little 'Fade out' as he called them.He hadn't had an episode in so long,it was only now that he let his voice pit fonts cage that he went into one.He was clean for so long,he promised Zayn that he would stay clean and now he broke it.
4 cuts
He's done worst
After that,Louis was quick to getting himself out of the shower,wrapping a fluffy red towel around his waist (no time to dry) and fiddling through the cupboards for the first aid kit (all while trying to calm the bleeding in his wrist).He can't control himself when he went into one of his 'Fade Outs',he should've counted himself lucky that he didn't do as much damage as he had down last time,it was a right mess last time,that was that time that Liam didn't come home from his date with Sophia,he knew what he was doing,kissing,cuddling,intercourse all of the stuff he didn't do with Louis.His voices were driving him mad that day,he couldn't take not is of his surroundings and before he knew it he was passed out in a pool of his own blood and tears.Liam had found him that time when he came home,and of course he also panicked which ended with an ambulance being called and Louis being admitted into Hospital and Blah Blah Blah.
Louis was handy in some ways,he was able to bandage up his Own wrist neat and tidily without any hassle which took skill,he knew how to stitch wounds and he owns how to get Blood off of anything.You'd think with being Able to do that he was some type of murderer,but no,he was just a simple popstar that was in an abusive relationship and suffered some schizophrenic episodes once and awhile.He bandaged up his arm,got rid of the razor blade and cleaned any mess of blood before exciting the bathroom,finding the bedroom empty much to his relief.
He couldn't handle any questions from Liam right now
He dried off his delicate and fragile body with the towel before pulling on a pair of white tighty-whiteys so he could use the towel to dry off his Hazel hair.He dressed himself into a pair of Black Skinnies,a oversized red sweatshirt and slipped on a pair of red vans.He ran the towel through his hair as he paced around the room,signing when he couldn't find his contact lenses em sing he had to shove on his glasses that made him look like a nerd and as if he was 17 again and an innocent little twink.As he walked out of the bedroom (after grabbing his phone) he paused in the hallway when he saw Liam standing there,his arms crossed over his chest as he leaned up against a wall.
"You look gorgeous Lou,"He smiled sweetly as he uncrossed his arms and held out one hand for Louis to take,which he took hesitantly after eyeing it suspiciously.Louis blushed a little and ducked his head as Liam pulled him forward little making the boy stumble."Loving the glasses sweetcheeks,"he smirked.
"Thank you?"Louis replied making sure that Liam didn't touch his sensitive worst that was being and itching under the bandage that Louis put on.
"You're welcome,Now c'mon,I'm going to treat my princess to a very well deserved lunch,"
DOUBLE UPDATE BITCHES IM ON A ROLL TODAY WOOHOO
How was it?
I'm sorry if any of this trigger anyone.if you need to talk,message me
Oh wow,my back hurts after writing this #WORTHIT
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Peace ✌️
~Marie
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Fear⚣Lilo Mpreg✔️
Fanfic'I believed he loved me in his own special way; The scars I needn't show; There was nowhere else to go. I said I was happy to be his girl; If only I had known, Those words weren't my own' Liam has anger problems,and he just so happens to like using...
