Field of Daisies

Chapter 3

Summer turned into fall earlier than usual this year. With the change of seasons came a head cold I couldn't shake. That cold turned into a fever, ripe with delusions of the trees I grew up with. I was bedridden for three days, and not back to work for another two. Even then, I had to wear a mask over my nose and mouth for a week post-symptoms out of an abundance of caution, the last reminder of the Virus from so long ago.

Magnolia only came in to drop off or remove trays of food and cool towels, so there was no one prompting me to take my pills in my sickly state. After the delusions subsided, my head felt unusually clear. There was no good way to explain the discrepancy between my head and my body until I remembered to take my pill on the fourth day and saw the three I had missed glaring back at me from my compact. Luckily, I was in the right mind to connect the dots and flushed the pills instead of swallowing them.

I felt stronger in an unexplainable way. I found myself making faces in the mirror to express my thoughts and with a strong desire to pick up a book, like I was so accustomed to when in school. A longing for being home with my tree hugging family ached in my chest. I had to figure out a way back to them, out of my gilded cage. Though how I could do that, was the problem. I took my last recovery day to re-perfect my glassy look, submissive manner, and pleasant tone, with the mask being a pleasant cover to my twitching lips. If I could just pretend for a bit, that would buy me time to find a way out. Maybe even a way back home.

Late at night, Magnolia wouldn't budge when I would ask her if she missed her own home, only reciting that it was an honor to her family to be a Steward, and why would she want to go home when she could live amongst the affluent? If I hadn't remembered her dense personality from training, I would have pushed harder. I was on my own, as I often found myself. At least I knew I could trust myself, or so I thought.

I didn't have many complaints against my mistress, especially since my true thoughts were sheltered from my grasp for the majority of my time with her. After ceasing the pills, I became more aware of the remarks she would make in response to current events and the judgment that would come from her. Every morning she would have an opinion about something she read in the daily paper on her tablet, from political stances to nail polish choices.

She was picking apart the gubernatorial candidate's hairlines that morning, especially that of the cancer-surviving wildcard; nothing was off limits when she was in this sort of mood. It was the week of what would have been her husband's birthday, another calendar day that reminded her of how alone she was. His birthday, their marriage anniversary, and his death anniversary put the Stewards into overdrive to keep our mistress content, ignoring the insults she'd hurl in our directions with extra ease. His birthday was a reminder to her about how her life was still going, leaving a hole the shape of him in her life. She would go through phases of anger and sadness throughout the week, cursing her aging body and missing her love. I couldn't blame her for that.

Her coffee was too bitter, she claimed. The coffee was the same as I always made it, watering it down with a tablespoon of boiling water and sweetening with two cubes of sugar. Her seat was too cold for her sensitive derriere and her arthritis was acting up with the cool air. That wig was better suited for...

I thought I was containing my comments exclusively in my head, but apparently one slipped out just loud enough for her to hear with her selective ears.

***

I finish my revelation story by explaining how I ran away and ended up at his feet, in a drugged-up state no less. This is satisfactory enough for Theodore to grab some bedding and set me up a bed that isn't the beanbag for the night. His face gives away the fact that he has many questions about my time as a Steward, but I don't want to think about it right now, let alone talk about it. I promise myself I will tell him more if he agrees to get me something he probably has access to. I'm left grateful for his extreme kindness and discretion as Theodore closes me in.