hold my heart.

iphone notes

how heavy is your heart today?
the same weight of iphone notes.

NINE.

where i share the love and pain
that was typed into an app.

tw: sh, toxic relationships

a life of longing is a life not lived.
— regrets.

and for you, no 'better' could ever compare.

sometimes we wonder if
the emotion we hold for another is love
simply ask yourself
if you seek them in everything

i saw myself
in spilled milk.

i tore flowers out of the ground for him.

She thought she
was a rose
he believed that a
garden couldn't compare
to her
beauty

when will
my forgiveness
ever be begged for
before it is given?

his lips spoke a language that made my heart dance.

you didn't need to put on a mask
as i was ever so generous to put it on for you

If the most heartless humans
were put together and wrapped in
a new flesh and skin
it would be you.

we were the opposite of death
you made me feel alive
as the air rushed through my lungs

little boys
ask to end things
while they keep you as theirs.
men wouldn't
have asked
for something label-less
in the first place.

I didn't wait for death
but he kindly waited for me

sometimes
the hands we
thought could
fix us
could be the same
hands that
provoke the
final damage.

and for a moment
in time
your feelings weighed
heavier than my own
in my heart

gently id caress your cheek
and whisper that
i would be alright.

i find myself intertwining my fingers
filling in what you left

i was so blinded by the illusion of love
i mistook your insecure shoves
as an encouraging push

everything about you
whispered divine grace.
but it was just a mere misconception

you carved your name onto my heart
the scar still lives

you'll be mentioned to all my future lovers
because of course
they should know who
broke my heart first.

i was so in love with you
that whenever someone cursed your name
i defended you
did you do the same?
but you were my biggest critic
could you ever go against yourself?
— an enemy and a lover.

it was as if i cried gold
because all that you have done
were what fed your greed.

i adored her.
she was the epitome of a human.
she was more.
she experienced life giving up
on her before she had given up on it.
— self love.

here lays the woman
i loved with all my heart
Rest In Peace he said
Fingers gliding over the
coffin he built
just
for
me

the pads of his fingers spoke words
of endearment
as they weaved through the mess
of her hair

There was a time where my bathtub welcomed me warmer than the open arms of my mother