A Gloomy April

Chapter 3: Fish Stick

Filming ended, but Lee Manager said he had a surprise schedule for me now. Unfortunately, he was stuck in traffic and I would have to eat at the dorm’s cafeteria for lunch. The putrid smell of fish sticks infiltrated my nostrils and it made me stick to my stomach; triggering an old memory…

My father smashed the plate of fish sticks down in front of me.

“Thank you, father.” I murmured my thanks and then nibbled on one fish stick. I tried gulping it down with my saliva, but the dry breading stuck to my throat and I felt myself having difficulty breathing. I reasoned that it was a psychological issue I had and I tried to calmly finish my meal. My father and I were going to eat dinner while my mother watched television in the adjacent room. But he suddenly became furious and threw his meal in the trash.

“I MADE US ALL DINNER AND NO ONE HAS THANKED ME! WHAT DO I GET?! NOTHING! YOU LOUSY GOOD FOR NOTHINGS!”

I quickly started to praise my father and his cooking while stuffing my face with the overwhelming amount of food. This slightly worked and he huffed away to my parents’ bedroom. That night, I threw up until I felt like I would pass out and die. It was still better than getting beat up for not showing enough thanks towards my father. It was depressing to live with an insane father.

The next day he badgered me for being overweight and complained that I ate way too much. He said that I was the same weight in high school as he was in college yet he did not take into account that I was a girl nor did he factor in my height. My doctor had told me I was the perfect weight.  My father’s insanity was really too much for me. I knew that filial piety was important in the Korean culture, but my father was physically and verbally abusive multiple times throughout the day. I just hung my head in shame day in and day out because I was always a failure in his eyes.

I shuddered at these memories and pushed them to the back of my mind. I quickly passed the fish sticks while on line and headed towards the other food. I carelessly piled some steamed vegetables onto my tray and walked to an empty table. No one noticed me and so I did not bother to talk to anyone. Instead, I just ate and went back to my room to wait for Lee Manager.

When he arrived, he was so excited that he did not notice how exhausted I looked.

“TINA! Apparently, you made such a great impression on the viewers of the drama that they were depressed to see you go. Therefore, they all want you to end up with Woohyun at the end! Isn’t this crazy? I can’t remember the last time this happened in drama making history. Viewer ratings went from 15% to 5% once you left! This is amazing for a newcomer!”

I was in awe to say the least. I did not check the news or social media so I did not know how well-known I was becoming. Lee Manager showed me that I was even on the most searched list on Naver.  My acting was not that amazing in my eyes. I still thought I could use a lot more practice and had a lot to learn.

“You will begin filming again tomorrow. And guess what?! You have been asked to do three interviews as well as cohost a music show now.”

I could not believe what I was hearing. It was simply unfathomable. How in the world could I have made such a storm in the Korean entertainment industry?! And what would happen to the lead actress?! She would hate me! I did not want to be hated already!

Lee Manager grabbed my wrist and hurriedly explained that we had to go to the interviews this afternoon and then I had to MC the music show tonight.

The interviewers were quite simple. They were all interested in three things: who I knew in show business, how I got into show business, and whether or not I was dating. Of course, I said no to the latter, but it was also the truth.  I said that I did not have any special connections in show business and I had always wanted to act because of a school play I was in, which were lies.

A swarm of assistants helped me with my dress and did my makeup when I arrived to MC the music show. Everything happened in such a flurry that I barely got to rehearse my lines. When filming was right about to start, I learned that the other cohost was Taecyeon from 2pm! I bowed to greet him and he nodded in response. Then he smirked and joked, “You look good, fish stick.”