𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 , carl grimes

Insecurity.

Getting back to Aaron's house, some parts still broken,
The house still manageable and such, still happy everything's okay for now.

The sun going down at this hour, mentioning goodnights to everyone in the house, putting my hand out for bea to follow.

Tucking bea into bed like I always used to do.

Having flopped into bed instantly closing my eyes.

Answering beas questions through mumbles, admitting things I probably answering things I would choose to avoid.

eyes closed, picturing a dream before I fall in a deep sleep.

Seconds later eyes wide open, peeking through the window, completely dark now.

Closing my eyes, forcing myself to go to sleep for a little longer.

Tossing and turning for at least ten minutes having no success with going back to sleep.

Annoyed at my body for keeping me up.

Putting my shoes on silently and a warm coat Aaron got for me.

Giving bea a kiss on the forehead to make sure she knows I'll always be next to her even when I'm not there.

Creeping downstairs trying to stay as quiet as possible,
Not wanting to wake everyone in the house and disrupt their "beauty sleep".

Unlocking the door, stepping outside having a type of sour face to close the door quietly.

Taking a walk, taking in the air and admiring the place that I now call home.

People already up, fixing the walls of Alexandria.

Giving enid and rick a wave on the small walk I took,
Spotting quinn in the garden doing her chores I assume.

Bending down next to her, trying to help while making conversation.

As soon as I spoke Quinn looked up confused a bit, then jumping on me to give me a hug, eyes wide, relief in her eyes.

" I haven't seen you in so long, I thought you died or something happened, kidnapped even" she spoke a huge smile on her face.

Quinn rambling about the wall breaking and the walker situation and how she heard the gunshots.

Her knowing I shot one of those guns to kill Ron.

Guilt bubbling up from the traumatic night.

Quinn going on, nodding in between sentences, until she looked over my shoulder eyebrows furrowed and tilting her head to the side.

Her reaction confusing, deciding to turn around to see what the problem could be.

The only thing there was Carl, his eye patch still bloody, he still looked pale, he's more stable while walking now which was great.

"Could you excuse me" I tried to say to Quinn but mumbling it, already walking away.

Practically running up to Carl, he sat on his porch bench, a frown on his face a whole turn around from yesterday.

"What's up" I spoke awkwardly.

Getting no response

Pushing a little harder just in case he didn't hear me to the first time I spoke again.

"How's the eye" I asked loudly this time.

"God!, Would you leave me alone." He huffed.

Getting up and standing infront of him, my mouth open and my eyebrows slouched down an angry expression.

Carl's eyes now looking up at me also an angry expression on his face and his lips into a frown.

"I understand your frustration, I mean you just lost an eye!" I started.

"But I will not sit here and have you be angry at me, I killed Ron FOR YOU!, I didn't have to, I could of let him live" I stated out of breath.

"But for you I-" I stopped.

He stood up slightly looking down at me.

His eyes softened and he tucked the flowing hairs behind my ear, still annoyed I only look up at him.

He then reached his arms around my frame and wrapped himself in my warmth.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry it's, the- my eye, I feel useless" he finally announced.

Closing my eyes wishing he never said anything,

"I like you with no eye" I mumbled into his shoulder,
Not wanting everything to explode out of me and ramble about my feeling towards him.

He giggled a little bit, successfully lightening the mood.

Pulling away from the hug running my finger along his bandage.

"You should change this" I mentioned to him.

" I would, I just don't know how" he said.

"Get the gauze! I can help" I said yelling excitedly pulling his hand inside his own house.

Once inside he was the one to lead me to the kitchen,
The medical supplies in their cabinets.

Taking the supplies, cautiously asking him for his hat, putting it on the side counter.

Unwrapping the blood stained gauze, his eye in the process of healing.

Him nervous by his hands shaking a little.

"Beautiful! It's healing really well" I reassured him, taking the new cotton and trying my best to replicate the old gauze.

Finishing putting the medical box back where Carl found it, while putting it away Carl spoke up.

"Sorry you had to see that" he spoke, his voice nervous,
"Don't be stupid Carl, I don't care about your eye, I think you look badass in my opinion" I told him.

He smiled a little bit, my words making him more confident.

"Don't let the insecurity get to you, Carl" I stated.