Winters First Kiss - Tamakyo/Kyotama

Chapter 10: Confession

As the afternoon came, Haruhi walked over to the large Sakura tree. A familiar figure appeared, his blond hair shining in the sunlight, Tamaki... oh no. He knelt down and grabbed Haruhi's hand, "Haruhi... I love you," his blond hair was gently carried by the wind, the heavenly sun reflected in his eyes.

Those eyes, thought Haruhi, I don't want to see them cry. With that, her lids closed and she opened her mouth, "Senpai... I'm sorry; I know your love isn't real and I'm not going to put you – or me – though the pain dating would bring us."

She didn't need to look at him to see the confusion on his face, she knew he didn't love her – not really – and she knew dating would only push them apart. After everything the two have been through, she was determined to not bring any harm to Tamaki; even if it meant temporarily breaking his heart. Hot tears threatened to run down her face, she couldn't bear to look at him. As much as she wanted to date him, she knew it would never work – and as much as she wanted to hold him, to tell him it's okay, her body refused to move. She knew he didn't love her.

As she watched him walk away her eyes stung.

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There was a gentle knocking at his bedroom door, "Tamaki, I'm coming in," a familiar voice said. He'd almost winced at the light which peaked through the door as Kyoya walked into the room. Tamaki hadn't allowed anyone in until now, he couldn't stand burdening anyone with his sadness, and despite him pushing everyone away, Kyoya stood in front of him with his arms out.

As he wrapped his arms around his friend, he felt his heart break. It wasn't only Haruhi's rejection he was mourning, but also his failure and where that failure would lead him. Sure, he could date any customer of the host club, but something felt wrong when considering it; leading a girl on is disgusting and there was no way he'd bring her into his family drama, or use her to escape... but now that I've failed, he couldn't help but think, it doesn't matter... there's no way anyone would mar-

"Tamaki?" Kyoya's soft voice whispered into his ear, "It's all right now, I'm here."

He and his dark-haired friend sat on Tamaki's unmade bed, Kyoya's hand resting on the blonds thigh.

"I'm... I'm sorry, Kyoya. I didn't mean to worry you... it's just hard,"

"I understand, but you need to know I – along with the rest of the host club – am here for you,"

"Thank you..." He hadn't realised his friend's hand had moved to Tamaki's head, fingers stroking and playing with his hair. It took all of his will to not cry out as his chest filled with a hollow ache.

"Do you really love Haruhi?"

"As my darling daughter," he chuckled, "of course,"

"You know what I mean," his dark eyes unamused at Tamaki's avoidance.

"Do I though?"

With a thud Tamaki was pushed back on the bed, Kyoya's strong hands holding him down. The tops of his dark hair against Tamaki's forehead, "Then let me clarify, would you do this to her?"

Tamaki woke that morning, head fuzzy from the dream, with an ache between his legs... but he completely couldn't recall why.