Audios || KNJ 🔞

Chapter 19: Stay With Me

Jung Haneul's POV

Just like our relationship, the car came to a stop as it reached the front of my house. With tears from the mixture of both sadness ㅡ because we're over ㅡ and joy ㅡ because he's reaching his dream, I took one last look at my boyfriend that will soon become a part of my ex list that is only to exist once I open the door and leave his car.

His eyes glistened from his own tears. A sad smile is on his lips and I badly want to kiss that smile away. So I did.

I leaned forward, closer to him, and kissed him with such a passion that I hope will be enough to make him feel that I love him dearly. I don't think I'll ever find someone as best as he already is.

A sob escaped my lips as I pulled away. My warm tears coated my cheeks as they fell. I felt his warm hands on them and I stared at his sad yet warm and loving eyes. "I'll have you back, I promise."

I smiled, still a small bulb of hope remaining. He's my first and I badly want him as my last, but all of that just remains as a dream that is a wish that my heart made. "I'll be waiting," I said.

I cupped his face with my small hands and wiped his tears. "I love you, baby. I'm so proud of you, always remember that."

"I love you more."

Even if it hurts and I refuse to, I pull my hands away from him to finally let go. "I guess this is it. It's been nice dating you, Namjoon."

He bit his bottom lip and looked away. "I don't want to do this." He sighed, face low.

"We already talked about this," I said softly.

"I know. I justㅡ I don't want to lose you."

I shook my head. "I'm still with you, baby. No longer your woman but I'll always be with you."

"I want to still be your man and you as my woman."

"But we can't. Please, Joon. Let's not argue about this. I don't want to end us on bad terms."

He sighed once again. "Still, please consider Taehyung's idea. I'll be waiting."

I sighed. "I can't promise you anything." I smiled sadly. He only looked at me with pleading eyes. As much as I want to be with him, I don't want to be selfish and have him for myself then risk his chance of debuting just because we both considered selfishness.

As I got out of his car, my body quivered from the cold wind. It's not even a minute without him and I already feel cold. The stars above are nowhere to be seen, leaving the skies empty just like how I currently feel.

Inside the house, I leaned my back on the door and I broke down in tears. It hurts so much to let go of someone I've grown so much in love and attached to. Love felt so good but the break up hurts double.

My sobs are continuous. I almost feel out of breath and dizzy. My chest hurts but everything else feels so numb and cold.

Chaerin joined me in the living room in her pajamas while holding a glass of milk. She came from the kitchen. "Han..." her voice was soft and I broke apart more.

She caught me in her arms and I cried my heart out. The longer I am away from his arms and the more I process our separation, the painful it gets. I wanted this; I chose this, and even discussed this matter with the girls, but it still hurts so much.

The sound of the door unlocking disturbed us, making Chae release me. We moved away and entered Ari with a plastic bag in her hands followed by Eunmi, the both of them in pajamas.

"Hey," Ari greeted me in a soft voice. I only smiled but that made her frown. She lifted the plastic bag to show me and with her movement came the sound of clashing glass bottles. "Let's drink?" They must have already known how wrecked I will be.