Never Our Fault

finale

The one narrating is the twenty-two year old Gray.

GRAHAM CASSIUS MONTEZ.

"Kuya Gray! Do you think fairies exist po?" Alora asked while she was twirling her finger on her braided hair. She was sitting on a swing; her innocent, round eyes on me. "I want to meet Tinker Bell! Gusto ko rin po ma-meet si Peter Pan. . . and maybe ask po kung nasaan po 'yung house ni Wendy so we can play!"

I remember paying her no mind as my eyes were feasting on my new PSP. "Fairies are not real, Alora. They're just cartoons," I told her.

"Pero what if they're real nga?" pangungulit niya pa at napatayo na mula sa swing niya para lumapit sa akin. "Kuya, if they're real nga, ano pong gagawin natin?"

Her eyes were literally sparkling as she said that. She clung to my arm as she stared at me intently while waiting for my answer.

I heaved a sigh. "Wala kang gagawin."

"Eh?" Kumunot ang noo niya. "Bakit po wala?" pagtatanong niya.

"Wala kang gagawin kasi hindi naman nga sila totoo," sagot ko sa kan'ya at bahagyang napangiti. Naramdaman ko naman na ang mahinang paghampas niya sa akin pagkatapos ko 'yong sabihin.

Sinimangutan niya ako. "Hmp! Killjoy ka, Kuya! What if lang nga, e." I laughed at her disappointed reaction. Kinurot niya ako ng bahagya sa braso; bahagya akong napangiwi.

"Aray! Ba't ka nangungurot?"

"Heh! Hindi ka masaya kasama!" she said, instead of explaining herself and she walked out on me before I could even complain.

Bumuntonghininga ako at hinayaan na lang nga siya. Kapag hindi nasusunod ang gusto niya, ilang oras na nagtatampo si Alora.

I wonder until when would she ignore me this time around. . . Matitiis ba ako no'n e kakambal niya ako? She can't even be separated a minute away from me.

So she can't leave me. . . because we're twins, and we've been connected to each other since birth; we were both each other's other halves.

On simple moments like that, I knew I always took her presence for granted. I was always like that. Kapag nandiyan, hindi pinapahalagahan. Pero kapag nawala na, hinahanap-hanap.

That was why I regretted a lot of things. I didn't see the importance of things. I'll only ever realize their value when they're gone.

You see, as a child, my attention was given solely for the things I find amusing, like playing the Pokémon game I was totally addicted to, collecting anime figurines and displaying them in my room but never choosing and minding the antics and fairytale beliefs of my twin.

I was a child; I lived in my own world.

There was this one time when I was rushing to eat dinner and staying up late at night and trying my best not to get caught still playing the game at 3 AM (news flash: I got caught red handed and I was grounded for a week. My gadgets were all confiscated too). I would really prefer staying indoors and completing new levels and finding new types of Pokémons instead of going out to the city playground to play around with Alora.

Nakapameywang si Mama sa harap ko habang hawak ang PSP ko at nakayuko akong nakaupo sa living room nang mamataan niya akong nananatili sa kuwarto ko habang wala naman si Alora sa bahay dahil pumunta sila ni Papa sa parke.

"Ikaw na bata ka, adik na adik ka na sa Pokémon games mo! Sabi ko naman sa 'yo, sumama ka ro'n kina Alora. Ni hindi ka na naaarawan! Tingnan mo nga 'yang sarili mo, ang putla mong tingnan! Para kang bangkay e buhay ka pa naman!" Bummer, I thought. When will this finish? Someone get me out of here. Hinila ni Mama ang palapulsuan ko. "Tara, punta tayo sa kanila. Hindi 'yong nandito ka lang sa bahay!"