Twilight: The parody

Bella gets taken care of by Jacob

"Hm, I think I'll put you back into the bath-it will help you regulate your temperature," Jacob says, picking up Bella.

"No. My skin will get wrinkly! Just put me in bed and turn on my electric blanket, "Bella whines.

"I know you feel hot, but getting warmer will definitely make the fever worse. I'm sorry but, this is necessary," Jacob states, laying her down in the tub and taking everything off except for her bra and underwear.

Jacob starts the water, and soon enough, it is up to Bella's waist.

"I'm cold," Bella says, shivering.

" I know, I know you feel cold but, that's just your body getting back down to its normal temperature," Jacob comforts, lovingly stroking her sweaty hair from her face. " It's gonna get better, you just need to sit tight ok? I'll be here until the water turns cold."

"Mmm ok," Bella says softly, falling asleep in the bathtub.

Jacob props Bella up and touches her forehead.

"Hm...it seems like the fever is going down..." Jacob says to himself.

He picks her up and dries her with a towel. Jacob is so focused on his caretaker mode that any sexy thoughts are gone at this point. He wraps her up in a towel and lays her down on the bed.

"I'll need to get medicine for her and some water...." Jacob says, looking at Bella. "She looks so peaceful..."

Jacob strokes her hair again and kisses her forehead. He gets her meds, water, and wakes her up.

"Hey, you need to take your meds, ok? Just take them, and then you can go back to sleep, ok?" Jacob instructs, placing water on her nightstand.

"Ok. By the way, do you think Edward is going to be ok? I feel like he gets it from his family a lot for interacting with me,"

Bella says, trying to talk through the mental haze.

"What do you mean gets it?" Jacob asks, concerned for Bella's wellbeing.

"I feel like Edward's family criticizes him a lot for liking me. His dad apologized to me in the hospital, but I know Edward is a bit weird, even for a vampire. But that doesn't make him bad, even though he stalks me a lot. He may not know how to love properly, like a baby he has to learn. Also, I saw a doggy that had really fluffy fur it was so cute!" Bella rambles.

"That doesn't make you responsible for how he feels though or makes what he did ok, ya know? Stalking is a serious crime and invasion of privacy, and you deserve better than to have your personal boundaries violated like that," Jacob responds, only to realize Bella is already asleep. " At least she took her meds. I'll need to address this later..."

Jacob shakes his head and goes to turn off the light and let her sleep. He goes back to his house and writes a note for Bella's dad.