Twilight: The parody

Bella's 9th stage

Full Moon Witching

Bella laughed with her friends as she watched Brittany yell about her marshmallow. They decided to burn the rest of Edward's weird paraphernalia about her to help her feel better.

"This feels so much better! Take that you edgy blood sucker!" Bella yells, throwing a piece of her stolen hair in the fire.

"Ahhhh! Not my marshmallow! Noooooo!" Brittany whines, watching the marshmallow droop off of the stick and onto the ground.

"Don't worry, I'll turn down the temp a bit!" Bella says, using her magic, to lower the fire's temperature.

"Bells, look what I found! Edward has a picture of you in the shower!" Jacob exclaims, looking at the photo of naked Bella washing her hair.

"What the hell?" Charlene says.

"I am so glad we are burning his shit right now." Lila states, taking a sip of her Starbucks Frappuccino.

"My ass does look great in this photo...you can have this one Jacob if you want?" Bella says, throwing in a photo of Edward's.

"Hell no, it's probably contaminated with his germs, and...other stuff..." Jacob replies, disgusted at the thought of vampire cum.

"Oh please Bella, we all know you can send an ass pic to Jacob any time!" Brittany exclaims, biting into her marshmallow. "Besides not like you haven't seen each other naked anyway, Miss I'm not a virgin!"

Bella is still a virgin.

"And I definitely don't want to have a picture Edward probably jerked off to." Jacob says.

"Ha, yeah right! Edward is too puritan for that!" Bella scoffs. "He's such a fucking pussy he probably strokes the photo with his hand!"

"Well... just because he's Puritan doesn't mean he's going to follow all of it... There are plenty of Puritans who cheated on their spouses even with adultery being a sin. " Jacob responds, remembering the Crucible.

"You have a point." Bella replies.

Bella stumbled as Brittany knocked into her. Brittany seemed to be waving her marshmallow-stick around, yelling about how Charlene can never take it from her.

"I like this. This feels pretty good." Bella says, looking at the full moon.

Bella looks up at the full moon and her brown eyes turn a milky white and she slowly starts floating into the sky.

"What." Jacob states, looking at his floating girlfriend.

"Oh my god! Bella is full moon witching! Charlene, get the camera!" Brittany squeals, fanning her face.

"Let me eat my fucking marshmallow before Brittany steals it. Again," Charlene says, stuffing a marshmallow into her mouth.

"You always toast them perfectly! I have to have it!" Brittany responds.

"Girls! Look! Jacob is trying to get Bella down!" Sierra screams, giggling at Jacob.

"What the fuck is going on??????!?!?!??!?!!?!??!?!??!??;?" Jacob screams.

"We told you! She's full moon witching!" Charlene laughs.

"whaT does that mean??????" Jacob yells, getting more confused.

"She's connecting to the moon! Duh!" The witches answer, making Jacob more concerned for Bella.

"You guys are batshit and that doesn't clear up a thing. Look, will it hurt her if I try to interrupt this weird thing going on?" Jacob says, finally getting tired of their weird witchy antics.

Bella seemingly reaches out to the moon and her hand glows. A silvery blue triple moon is forming on Bella's head and she just lays on her back afterwards enjoying the moonlight. Jacob looks up at her and is done with this witchy bullshit.

"Probably not. But I wouldn't disturb her. She's relaxing and replenishing her magic and energy right now." Charlene explains, remembering the first time she full moon witched.

"You know what? I'm done, I have no idea what's going on but I trust you guys have a handle on it. Goodbye I'm outta here," Jacob says completely monotone.

Bella's silvery eyes see Jacob leaving and she floats to him levitating a bit off the ground.

"Jacob, don't leave. I'm right here." Bella says holding Jacob's cheeks.

"Ok....? That's not the reason I gave for leaving but yeah, you definitely are here, huh," Jacob answers, looking at Bella's silver eyes.

Bella kisses Jacob and her body begins to levitate more making her legs go straight into the air.

"Don't worry I'm fine. I feel great-" Bella reassured only to be interrupted by magical forces.

Bella's eyes begin to shine brighter as the moon shines brighter and she floats back into the air. Floating in front of the moon, her hair whipping in the wind. Her hands glow purple along with her eyes and the triple moon on her forehead. Then her hair stands straight up and turns into a flaming purple fire. There's a shine of purple and silver light and Bella is laying on the ground.

"My  dude, I am in state of knowing nothing about what the fuck is going on at all times with you guys. Was that fire normal?" Jacob asks, walking over to Bella and checking her pulse.

"Oh Bella's fine. It just means her magical energy got replenished and probably stabilized. So no more spontaneous heat waves or fires unless there's emotional distress," Lila explains, sipping on her Starbucks Frappuccino.

"How the fuck are you still sipping on that drink, it's been more than an hour since we built the fire? I'm just gonna sit down then and zone out, I'm tired and too confused to care for anything now" Jacob declares,picking up Bella and setting her head on his lap and stares at the fire as he strokes her hair.