Faith goes looking for her father to answer some of her questions left by her mother's return. Buffy tries to help as best she can, leading her to ask questions about her own relationship with her father and whether she should do the same.
Author's Note: Just FYI, I'm working on a few different projects and it might require some time to put it together. So when this story wraps up, I might not have a specific story to post yet. If things work out the way I'm hoping though, it will end up that way. Just letting you all know. Anyway, on with the story.
We have to do something.
I sit outside the hospital room of my dad, staring at the floor.
I can't let my dad end up dead or in the hospital like he is now. He's too important to me. More important then I ever realized. I thought I wouldn't care this much but I just can't help it. Some part of me just needs to get pulled in by him. To feel like I matter to him the way he matters to me. After all this time, I thought that I would've moved past things like this, but apparently I haven't. I'm still that little girl who wants her dad to love her. For all the crap I've been through and what I've seen, I can't really escape that part of me.
And I don't really know how to feel about that. It makes me wonder how much I've actually changed. If I'm willing to just act without thinking what's about to happen. I wanted to believe that I wasn't that type of person anymore. That I moved beyond it and become a better person. The kind of person B could actually see herself with. Someone worthy of her. But maybe that's not actually true? Maybe it was never really true? Is that why things between us could never work out? Because things haven't actually changed?
I mean, I feel different then I used to be. I understand now the way I used to be wasn't going to end well. There's no way that it could. I've made decisions I never thought I would make. But when push comes to shove, apparently I'm just as bad as I've always been. And that's a really dangerous place for me to be. I did so many terrible, destructive things when I was thinking like that. If things like that keep happening now, it could end really, really badly.
And now I've dragged B into all of this. Which is probably the worst part of everything. If she ends up getting hurt or killed because I couldn't control my instincts, I'd never forgive myself. That's assuming I survive anyway. I wouldn't be able to keep going. It was hard enough to try and live with the fact that she died to save me from Omega's blast. I almost didn't and it took her rising from the dead to keep me from joining her.
There's no way that would happen again this time. Not that I would want it to. B almost didn't find away to live with coming back from the dead. I was willing to kill her just to save her from hating me for the rest of her life. If we went through all that and still ended up dead, I don't know what it was all about.
Her feet stop in front of me and I look up to see her holding two coffees and a bag.
"You okay?"
I do my best to smile back.
"Yeah..."
She sits down in the chair next to me.
"That gets more and more convincing every time you say it."
She knows me too well. I should probably just come right out and say it.
"I need you to go home."
She doesn't respond right away.
"Faith... we talked about this."
I turn my head her way.
"Things are different now. My father..."
"Is he all right? I thought he was doing better."
"He is... he's just resting now. But that's kinda the point."
"What do you mean?"
"I... I almost got him killed yesterday. The doctors said that if we'd gotten there any later..."
She cuts me off there.
"But we didn't. We got to him and time and he'll be okay."
"What about next time though? What if we don't get there next time? Or what if..."
I don't finish that thought, looking away as I do.
"What?"
"What if... you got hurt next time? I don't know if I could handle that."
"And what if I went home and you got hurt because I wasn't there? Do you really think that I could handle that?"
Staring back at her for a while, I take a deep breath.
"Probably not."
She offers me one of the coffee cups in her hands.
"I'm not going anywhere."
I smile at her as I take it.
"Thanks B."
"Any time."
I take a sip of the coffee and it's just as good as hospital coffee is. It makes me cringe.
"Sorry about that. It's the best I could find."
"No worries B."
Suddenly, there's a crash in Pat's hospital room.
What the hell?
We look at each other and I drop the coffee, standing up and rushing into the room. My dad's on the floor and the bed he was on looks broken.
What happened?
rushes in behind me as I look around.
"Did you see anything?"
I shake my head at her before rushing to my father's side. He groans as I check him over.
At least he's still alive. Maybe he just fell.
B checks out the room, looking for any kind of baddie.
"Things look okay."
Well that's good.
"Dad? Are you okay?"
It takes him a second to answer.
"Yeah, I think so. I don't know what happened."
B comes over.
"What did happen?"
He puts his hand on his head and slowly sits up, which I help him with.
"I'm... I don't know... I was just reaching for the water on the table and... things just collapsed."
My ex and I look over to the hospital bed that's collapsed. She grabs the bed and starts to set it right. As she does though, one of the bed frame rungs is broken in half. B and I look at each other and she's obviously as worried as I am.
Was that him?
"Dad... were you leaning on that?"
He looks at the hospital bed for a long time.
"I... I think it was. How... they must be a terrible hospital."
A terrible hospital?
"What do you mean?"
"Well, obviously they put me in a death trap if it fell apart like that."
B and I look at each other.
Is that what happened? Probably not a good idea to say anything more.
"Yeah dad, that's probably what happened. Come on, let's get you up."
I put out my hand and he takes it, but his grip is a lot stronger then I thought.
Damn... his grip is pretty strong. He shouldn't be this strong, should he?
After a second, I help him to his feet.
"How are you feeling dad?"
He takes a second to think about it.
"Good... actually. Better than I probably should."
Better?
"How much better?"
Again he thinks about it.
"Almost... normal? I guess your blood is special."
That has she and I looking at each other.
"Special?"
"Because you're my daughter. Must've been good for my health."
Right...
"Makes sense, right B?"
She gives me a slightly confused look.
"I'm sure that's it."
She doesn't think so, and neither do I.
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