Faith goes looking for her father to answer some of her questions left by her mother's return. Buffy tries to help as best she can, leading her to ask questions about her own relationship with her father and whether she should do the same.
Walking through the cemetery, I move to avoid one of the headstones.
She could use some clarity after everything that happened. At least after talking to Giles, it feels like she is a little more clear about things. I can't believe she thought she might be something other than human. I hope that what she heard from Giles and what I said about not thinking any different of her just because of who her mother was made a difference. Not that I brought it up afterwards, maybe I should, but I needed to make that clear to her.
But she obviously has more questions than Giles can answer. Our conversation about calling him kinda made that obvious. I just hope she can find a way to get them. From the way Faith talks about her family life, saying it wasn't happy would be an understatement. Especially given who her mother was and what that implies. If her father can provide some of the missing pieces, I'm all for it. At least as much as she can. It sounds like part of the uncertainty for her is about whether he knew what her mother was.
I tried to reassure her that he might not have known anything, but I'm not sure she believed me. She seems convinced that he did and he let it happen. I get why she wants to think that. He wasn't the best father to her and it would explain a lot. I have a little experience in the bad father department though and you don't have to know about the things that go bump in the night to be a bad father. He can just not care about you enough to think about you.
That's what happened with my dad. Or at least I think he did. I'm honestly not sure exactly why he disappeared now that I think about it. He just stopped calling and I stopped waiting for him to call. Plus, it's not like my life has been exactly easy the past few years. With Faith coming out of her coma with amnesia and me helping her come to terms with her past. Then dealing with the whole 'two into one' prophecy and fighting Omega, dying and coming back to life, then finding out Dawn wasn't just my sister but also my daughter with Faith. Having her die in the fight against Glory and struggling to live with the fact that Faith did that, not to mention everything with my mom and hers.
Maybe the reason I stopped waiting for his call is just because I was so focused on other things, I couldn't really care about much else. Not with almost certain death to deal with regularly. Not to mention falling in love with Faith and discovering a whole new part of myself that I never knew before. Then hating her and now becoming whatever we are now to each other. I kinda just forgot about my dad.
But this isn't really about me and my issues. It's about Faith and what she's dealing with. I have to focus on that.
I look over at Faith a few feet away as we walk through the cemetery.
"Something on your mind B?"
She stops to look at me, smiling as she does, making me stop too.
"What?"
"Just seems like you got something on your mind."
She noticed?
"No, I... not really... I'm mostly just thinking about you."
My fellow slayer and former lover slowly moves in my direction as she goes back to our patrol. After watching her go for a while, I join her.
"Trying to figure out a way to help you. With the thing with your dad."
"Any ideas?"
I shrug at the question.
"Basically, you should talk to him. I didn't get much beyond that."
It takes her a second to answer.
"I kinda already did."
She did?
"You did?"
"Yeah..."
She doesn't seem that bothered.
"What happened?"
"Nothing... I got his voicemail."
Oh...
"You didn't leave a message?"
"What was I gonna say? 'Hey dad, it's your daughter. Mom's dead again, how's it going'?"
I chuckle at the idea.
"Well the first part started out okay. Maybe you should just work on the second part."
It takes her a second to follow up.
"What would you say?"
Me?
That has me stopping and so does she.
"To your dad?"
Maybe that's a bad joke.
A half smile comes back at me.
All right, not the worst joke.
"I don't know Faith. I mean, my family's not like yours. I didn't grow up like you did. My dad wasn't a drunk and he didn't leave me in the hands of my evil mother. He just... disappeared. I don't really know what I'd say if I actually spoke to him again. I'd just... want to understand. Maybe you should start there?"
She seems to think about it for a moment.
"Probably not the best thing to leave on a voicemail though."
She's not wrong about that.
"So start with, 'Hey dad, I'd like to talk. Do you think that would be okay'?"
It makes her chuckle.
"Sounds simple enough."
"Oh it won't be. But it's better than not knowing isn't it?"
She stays silent for a while as we walk through the cemetery together.
"I guess you're right."
"I usually am."
"Sure you are B."
We smile at each other before focusing on where we're going.
I hope I helped her.
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