Faith goes looking for her father to answer some of her questions left by her mother's return. Buffy tries to help as best she can, leading her to ask questions about her own relationship with her father and whether she should do the same.
I sit next to him in the hospital bed, watching him recover.
My dad is in the hospital yet again because we couldn't get it done. Not because we didn't want to but because we hesitated when he didn't. He just acted and now he's in the hospital again. We keep trying to be calm about this and he keeps going nuts and getting somewhere. And I can't help but think that whatever's happening is my fault. I had to come find him, knowing the kind've person he is. Knowing that he would go nuts and mess things up in a way that I would have to clean up. Not that I could've figured things would go this wrong this quickly, but still... I knew.
The doctors said he was going to be okay, but it's going to be a while. He's not healing like he did the last time. Probably because whatever my blood did to him the last time is wearing off. I thought about giving him more but then he'd only have a lot more power. Or at least it would last longer. With the people who he owes money to out of the way, I don't want to give him any reason to use it in something even worse. So I'll have to let him heal the normal way. From the way the doctors sound, he's going to be fine. And they know him better now since they treated him the first time.
Now it's just a question of how long it's going to take for him to wake up. They seem pretty confident that he will. But then I have to figure out what I'm going to do.Hopefully this is all over and we can just go our separate ways. Except for the fact that I'm not exactly sure that I want to. I still care about him. I probably always will. If he knows about me and all these supernatural things though, it could end up badly for him. The way it usually does with these things. I'm not sure I can live with him being out there and trying to take advantage of whatever he can find. I'd probably have to stay in his life in some way just to keep him safe. Be someone he can call if things go wrong.
Except that means I'd actually have a father. Something I haven't had for a long time, and I'm not really sure how to feel about that. Having an actual father isn't something I ever thought I'd have again. What would it actually feel like? To have someone other than B who I could turn to and talk about things with. Even things like vampires and stuff, since he knows about it and all. Maybe it would all be fine and work out.
"You okay?"
I look up at B who is sitting in the chair opposite me. I take a deep breath.
"Yeah, I guess."
"Talk to me."
I shift a little in my seat.
"Well, I'm just kinda thinking about what I'm gonna do."
"Do?"
"With my dad."
"I thought the doctors said he was going to be okay."
"That's what I mean. He's going to be okay."
"And that's a problem?"
"Sorta, yeah..."
She doesn't respond to that.
"If he's going to be okay then... that means I have a father. A real father. I don't really know how to feel about that."
"Maybe you shouldn't feel anything."
What?
"At least not right away. Just... take it one day at a time. You know, like us."
That makes me smile.
"Like us?"
"You know what I mean. We're taking things slow. Not rushing into anything. Maybe you should try the same with your dad. Get to know him again and figure out how things work."
Seems reasonable.
"So you're saying I should be adult about it."
She chuckles at that.
"I know, radical concept right?"
We fall into silence together.
"Do you mind if I ask you something?"
Hmm...
"Sure,what is it?"
"Do you feel better?"
"Better?"
"Talking to your dad. Getting everything out in the open the way you did. Is it better?"
Her question has me sitting back in the chair, taking a deep breath.
"Honestly? I'm not sure... I mean, it didn't really go the way I wanted it to."
Again she chuckles.
"That's an understatement."
There's a pause.
"But do you regret it? Is it better that you actually got to talk with him?"
"I guess, it is. I feel better knowing that all those questions I have about him and our relationship after everything with my mom aren't just questions anymore. They feel... I don't know if figured out is the right way to say it. But... I don't feel as heavily about it as I did before. I feel... lighter."
Saying that makes her lean back in her chair too.
Something's on her mind.
"What is it?"
She brings her focus back to me with a smile.
"Never could get anything past you."
I smile back at her.
"Being here with you? Helping you talk with your dad and everything? It's made me wonder about my own. You're not exactly the only one who has unresolved daddy issues. Maybe I should ask Giles to find my dad's info like he did yours. Look him up so I can have a conversation."
She wants to talk to her dad?
"Well, whatever you do, I'm here for you. After the way you've helped me with my dad? I'll be right there next to you... whatever you need."
"Thanks Faith, it means a lot."
"Of course."
Just then, my dad starts to move in his bed.
"Dad?"
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