James/Carvelli Extras

love yourself (A+A)

Apollo

I sit in my office paying some of the bills when I hear frustrated grunts.

"Arielle?" I call

"I can't do my hair, Papa. I think we should cut it. I hate it." Arielle whines coming into the room.

I stand up and shake my head. "No, Princess. We're not cutting your hair, it's so beautiful and so long." I tell my 12-year-old

I lead her out of the office and back to her room.

We go into her bathroom and I grab her hair products.

"You've got to love the hair you have, it's so precious and it's unique and it shows your roots." I tell her taking the spray bottle and spraying her hair.

"How?" she asks

"For one. It's an equal mix of mommy and papa... remember when we talked about slavery?" I ask

"Yeah." She nods

"Well a lot of slaves were forced to shave their hair. A lot of them didn't have the hair you, MJ, mommy or grandma have. That's why you have to embrace it. Wear your hair in styles with confidence, show it off, show it's worthy and beauty, do it for your ancestors who couldn't. Make them proud." I say as I brush her hair out

"You've got to be patient with it, become friends with it, show it care. One of my cousins even gave her hair a name, maybe you could do that." I suggest. "But your hair is so beautiful, princess. Embrace it." I say kissing her cheek when I'm done brushing it

"Papa's right, Ari."

Ari and I look in the mirror and see Alani staring at us with a smile.

"my great grandmother couldn't embrace the hair we have. My grandmother taught me to love and appreciate it. It takes time and patience, but you'll soon be able to love her like you love the rest of yourself." Alani tells our daughter

"ok." Arielle nods taking in our words.

"It'll be hard to love your hair and even love yourself. As a mixed girl you'll hear a lot of words. Sometimes you won't know where to fit in... and if you ever have questions you can always go to grandma. She's shared her experiences with us and she's more than willing to help you feel comfortable and proud." Alani continues

My mom's shared with us that being a mixed girl isn't the easiest. She's had many identity problems when she was growing up, that she didn't know who she should be.

She's told us ways to teach our kids and help comfort them in their own skin.

Alani's had issues too. We did go to a predominantly white school and her mom was never help when it can to showing how to be a proud black women.

Alani always went to her grandmother and even my
mother. Mom was always happy when Alani asked if mom could braid her hair.

"As you get older you'll realize. And if you ever feel some kind of way, come to us. Go to grandma." Alani tells and Arielle nods

"I might not understand what it's like, but I'll try so hard." I tell her.

I'm lucky my mom kept us close with her dad's side of the family. Though me and my siblings were the only white ones, they still included us and taught us so much.

I learned how to braid hair, learned how they protect it, the history of the hair, the importance of the products they use and also why they don't wash their hair as often.

I mean I don't wash it as often us our other white friends, but still more then my cousins.

"Thank you." Arielle says giving us both hugs

"Always, princess." I tell her

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Arielle

"grandma."

"yes, Ari."

"I'm I black or white?" I ask from the kitchen island

"You're both, sweetheart." She answers while stirring the pot of corn soup . "do you mean what do you identify as?"

I nod

"Well... what do you think you are?" She asks turning around

"black." I answer

"why?"

"because... My hair isn't straight or wavy like Papa's or aunt Val's. And it's not pale like theirs. It's darker, but it's brighter then mom's." I answer with furrowed eyebrows

"So you're saying you look more black then white?" she quizzes and I nod

"then there's your answer. You identify most to what you know you'll be accepted as and what you're comfortable with. Your Papa knows that if he identified as black or even mixed, he wouldn't be taken seriously, he'd be laughed at. So he identifies as white. But... he still embraces his cultures and ethnic backgrounds, at the end of the day. So just because you identify as black doesn't mean you should forget about your white half... Plus i'm a part of the white half, you wouldn't forget about your grandmother." She teases

I shake my head with a small smile.

"You are a pretty black girl and you're proud." She says coming up to me and squishing my cheeks.

"I'm a pretty black girl and proud." I repeat

"I used to tell your mom the same things. It's not easy being black, but you still got to be proud and confident." She says

"Am I a pretty black boy?" MJ asks coming into the kitchen. He sits beside me on the stool.

"You both are pretty black children and proud. Be proud of where you come from. Especially our family because we are so mixed and full of culture." She tells us.

"I think it's cool. I'm the first black Mateo James in our family." MJ smiles proudly

"That's right. And you're proud." Grandma smiles

Now that I think of it. Grandma doesn't look like a grandma.

"Grandma... You're too young to be a grandma. Are they supposed to be old and wrinkly?" MJ asks like he read my mind.

Grandma chuckles.

"Well... I had your Papa and aunt Val at 18. And you're mommy had you two at 23, which is both very young so yes I am young to be a grandma. But also Black don't crack." She says with a wink. "either way I love being a grandma and I love watching you and your sister grow."

Alvara's only four. She won't understand the confusion MJ and I have.

"Will you tell Al the same things you told us?" I ask

"Of course." grandma nods "but always remember. We will love you either way, it's always about how you love yourself."

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Finally got this one done 😮‍💨

Apollo being a DILF or whatever. lil cultured mayo packet 😫